I'm going to be a Baby Daddy?

New Blog!

2011-03-15T11:37:00.001-07:00

Greetings blog people!

I've decided that I'm going to do a new blog! You can follow it here http://homealonewithhim.blogspot.com/

Hope you enjoy!

We are so lucky

2010-04-05T11:23:00.001-07:00

It's been pretty intense, the last few weeks.

Elliott is a joy. He is a pure, total, amazing joy. He's the light of my life and he's beautiful.

He really is so well behaved. He cries sometimes, but when he does it is usually for just a few seconds. Once he's been fed, changed, or held he quietens quickly and gives us a goofy, silly smile. Apparently he isn't yet at the age yet where he recognizes us or smiles at us, but he certainly is making that impression. He's very alert, very interested in the world around him, and very sweet. He sleeps well, he's happy when awake, he's bloody perfect.

I'll update this blog more frequently (I promise! I promise I will!), and will post photos soon. (Promise!)

It never rains but it pours

2010-03-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

Well... we have a lot to catch up on!

Firstly, I'd like to apologize to you all for the delay in posting. Things have been a little crazy over the past few days, as I'm sure you can imagine. Instead of going over everything right now, let's go back and do one day at a time.

First, Monday 15th March, 2010.

We woke up on Monday nervous as all hell and in a panic. It felt a little like the morning of a vacation, all of us rushing around, making sure that we had everything. 'Camera!', someone shouted. 'In the bag! what about spare batteries?' someone replied. We tore around, grabbing random items, stuffing them in bags and trying to deal with the enormity of the day.

Thankfully, Mother Nature had provided us with a distraction. We were on day three of some of the heaviest rain that the area has seen for many a year. Rivers were breaking their banks, roads were flooding, basements around the neighborhood were filling with water and sewage. The news crews were out in force and diversions were set up everywhere. We decided that we should leave early, and give ourselves plenty of time to get to the hospital.

As it happened, we needn't have bothered. We got to the hospital with time to spare and went up to the labor and delivery department. Alise, myself and Hannah (Alise's sister) waited almost patiently until we could go back to be prepped.

We hit a snag here, when we were told that Hannah wouldn't be allowed either in the delivery room or the recovery room, and wouldn't be allowed to see us until around 5pm. This was upsetting to all, but Hannah said she'd wait downstairs in the lobby. She braved the rains and went and got magazines, and took up residence in a comfy chair.

Alise and I were then taken back. Alise was undressed and put into a rather fetching hospital gown, and hooked up to machines to check the vital signs of her and baby. I sat in the corner, breathing deeply and trying not to vomit. Nervous time. Very nervous time.

The C-Section was scheduled for noon. As is typical, an emergency delivery held us up for another hour, which didn't really help our nerves. The woman in the bed next to us came back from her c-section proclaiming 'make way for the cutest baby e-ver!' and then barked loudly about how terrible the procedure was. Again, this didn't help.

Suddenly, a nurse came. 'We're going to take Alise now', she said. 'We'll come back for you in a few minutes'.

I cannot ever recall being so nervous. Suddenly I broke into a cold sweat and started to shake uncontrollably. I paced the floor, holding back tears and vomit. I dry heaved a couple of times. I was not in a good place.

Then they came to get me. They lead me into the operating room like a condemned prisoner. I walked in to see the bottom half of the woman I love with a curtain crossing her torso. Doctors stood over her, waiting for me to take my place. I remember thinking that she looked a little like a magician's beautiful assistant, ready to be cut in half and then put back together again. I then realized that this wasn't far from the truth. They'd also be pulling a rabbit from the hat. Genius.

I sat next to Alise, on the quiet side of the curtain. I decided that I didn't want to watch the show. I took a few deep breaths.

The speed at which they worked shocked me. It felt like they'd only been going for about five minutes before I heard someone saying 'What time?'. Someone else replied '1:56'. The boy had technically been born.

And then he appeared. Held up to us on our side of the curtain. We saw our son for the first time. Our hearts melted.

Once he'd been cleaned up a little and weighed, he was swaddled and handed to me. I held him up to Alise as they put her back together. They finished quickly, and we were wheeled back to the recovery area where the woman with the second cutest baby e-ver was. I asked if Hannah could come up and see us and was given the green light, and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. Baby Elliott was born, he was perfect, he was awesome.

After being released from labor and delivery we were transferred to the maternity ward. Elliott was taken to the nursery for some checks, so I took advantage of the break in action to drive Hannah home, feed Coco, before coming back to the hospital on the train. When I got to the train station, I learned that some of the track had been washed away in the storm and that we were being bussed to Boston. News crews were still there. They interviewed me. I made it onto the evening news.

http://www1.whdh.com/video/player/?clipId=4624155&clipFormat=flv&topVideoCatNo=91535#?autoStart (I'm about a minute in)

Photo Time!

2010-03-18T13:16:00.001-07:00

Elliott Andrew Crossland

2010-03-17T07:18:00.001-07:00

Baby Elliott Andrew Crossland was born on March 15th, at 1:56pm. He weighed 8 pounds, is 19.75 inches long, and is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I cried, I fell in love, I became a father.

Mother and baby are doing great. They are still in the hospital, mainly so that Alise can recover. They will be home on Friday.

I'll post photos shortly.

C-Day

2010-03-15T05:14:00.001-07:00

Today.... WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!

Oh God, Oh Lord, Oh Fuck!!

While the rest of the state is under flood water, we are going to the hospital to have a baby. In a few short hours this journey will end, a new one will begin. Oh. My. GOD.

F-F-F-F-Five More Days

2010-03-10T12:53:00.001-08:00

We had our last ultrasound yesterday. Our last one!! We are now officially into 'super scary' time.

The next time that we see this child, he'll be all Avatar on us. He'll be in weird colors, and he'll be in 3D. He'll be babbling in languages that we don't really understand, and he'll be worth billions of dollars.

We have a couple more things that we need to do, before Monday. I have an appointment at a local police station at 7am on Saturday (what time??!) to have the car seat checked, and we have to go to the hospital for the pre-op appointment. We're then scheduled to sit around a lot and get nervous, and I've tentatively penciled in a long night of restless sleep on Sunday.

Then... he'll be here. Wow. Time has flown.

One Week (pt 2)

2010-03-09T12:34:00.001-08:00

It'll be, one week 'til I look at you,

Hold your hand and tell you that I love you,

Pretty soon I'll be holding you,

You're the best thing to happen to me since your mommy...

Pass me a burp cloth, the child is coughing,

The bottle of milk's in the kitchen warming,

wiping your butt with no lights on,

Because it's half one,

I hope this diaper is a clean one,

I-hope-you-don't-wake-every-one-within-a-mile-radius-please-don't-take-advantage-of-the-cloth-not-on-your-penis

oh holy god you pissed on me while I was changing you,

trying hard not to gag but I can't do,

I'm the kind of guy who screams at cotton wool,

Now I'm covered in your puke, and your poo,

I'm really tired and I'm crying, with you,

I really hope I get some goddam sleep tonight...

It'll be, one week 'til I look at you,

Hold your hand and tell you that I love you,

Pretty soon I'll be holding you,

You're the best thing to happen to me since your mommy...

One Week To Go!!

2010-03-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

Don't worry everyone... we're still here! Still waiting, still panicking a little.

We had quite an eventual week, really. Alise's sister Hannah arrived on Monday and has taken up residence in the spare room. As soon as she arrived, Coco the wonder dog fell ill and we had to rush her to the emergency vet. Again. Poor girl. She's on medications, and seems to be doing well.

Now, we're just pretty much waiting. We had a nice weekend and enjoyed the spring weather, I put the car seat in the car (I don't know how he's supposed to reach the steering wheel but I guess he'll be okay), and tidied up a bit. This week we're having our last ultrasound, and will try to relax. And not think too much about next Monday.

Don't Panic!

2010-02-25T16:48:00.000-08:00

No seriously, don't panic.

We're still waiting, still getting ready mentally and physically for the baby. There's not a whole lot to say right now, to be honest; and this kind of feels like the calm before the storm. We're going to have a shit-ton of things to talk about very soon, but for now we're still waiting and we are getting more and more impatient.

There are some things that I want to say to someone out there, though. Someone special. Someone who is my son.

Be safe, little guy. Be safe in your little sanctuary. Be safe, and be healthy and do whatever it is that you need to do in these last couple of weeks.

I can't wait to see you, and I can't wait to start to bond with you. Your mom and I have been watching a show called '16 and Pregnant' recently (if you ever get a girl knocked up when she's 16 I'll chop your bollocks off, okay?) and we've both been getting a little emotional watching these babies getting born.

When you come out, you're immediately going to become the most important person in my world. I love your mom to death and I'd do anything for her (except for rubbing her feet). I love your aunts and uncles, I love your grandparents. I love myself, kinda. But when you come out, you'll be something special; something unique.

I'm really fucking scared little buddy, I'm really fucking scared that I'll let you down, that I'll not give you everything that you need, that I'll not be the best father that I can be.

I'm going to give this all I have though. When I leave this world I won't be thinking 'have I been the best office worker that I could be?', I won't be thinking 'did I ever make the most of my mad skillz?', I won't be thinking 'I can turn right on red here, right?' (maybe that'll be the penultimate thing I think), I will be thinking 'was I the best father that I could be?'

That's how I'll judge myself, that's how much you mean to me.

Good luck, little guy. Good luck in this world of increasing danger and political stupidity. There are some brilliant minds on this planet that keep amazing me and which keep advancing our species further. There are also some crazy fuckers who keep being elected to office and who keep reinforcing the crazy. I can't even imagine how this world will look in 30 years, but when you are my age I imagine that things will be pretty different. All that I can say is, enjoy the ride, don't take anything too seriously, and always treat everyone how you want to be treated yourself.

This last piece of advice also applies to when you're a newborn. If you piss on me when I'm changing your diaper......

Above all, please remember that I am not the finished article and neither are you. We will learn this shit together, and we will laugh and cry together. We are both going to evolve, learn, love and fart because it's funny.

We're going to have a blast. Let's do this!

My How You've Grown!

2010-02-23T11:34:00.001-08:00

We had another ultrasound this morning. From now on they will be weekly, meaning that Alise and I will both be getting up early and driving into Boston for 7am appointments, every Tuesday until the boy arrives. We'll be so much happier when he's come and we can sleep in! Mmwwhhaaaa!!!

The boy is now 6lbs, 10 clicks and is pretty much ready for departure. He's kind of squished in, and the photo doesn't really show much apart from the fact that he seems to have really big lips. It looks like he still has hair, and he's growing well. If things go according to plan he'll be around 8 and a half pounds (13 dollars or so) when he's born.

And... still we wait. We really don't have anything else to do right now, but wait. Wait until the day comes when our lives will never be the same again. It's quite surreal, strange and still a little hypothetical. He's coming, he's going to stay for a while, he's going to be awesome, and he's going to change everything.

Hurry up little buddy, I want to see you now.

We Shall Never Forget 12/16/1773

2010-02-22T06:11:00.001-08:00

We had a lovely weekend, on our mini vacation.

I have never, ever been offered a free upgrade before; I guess arriving at a hotel with a heavily pregnant lady helps. We got there and checked in, and Alise went off to use the bathroom. While she was absent the gentleman at reception asked us where we were from and where we were going.

'About 15 minutes away, and nowhere' was my response.

I told him that we were just staying at the hotel to relax and get away from doing housework for a night, while staying close to the hospital just in case the boy decided to check out.

'Congratulations!' the young man said. 'Allow me to give you a complimentary upgrade to a room with a harbor view'

'How lovely!' I replied. 'I'll get to see where you dumped our tea!'

I actually didn't say that. I didn't even think to say that at any time during the weekend. Lost opportunities.

Anyway though! We took a walk on a cold beach, we swam in the small but empty pool, we dined happily and we watched the history channel on the tv. Like I always do in hotels. Fun! We really did escape, even if just for a few hours.

Price-Line-Negotiator!

2010-02-18T05:31:00.001-08:00

Alise and I are going on a mini vacation this weekend.

I've been awfully tired recently, it's what happens to me in February. At this time of the year winter really starts to get on my nerves, and I sink into a bit of a lull. This is pretty common, apparently, many people feel this way at this time.

Alise, of course, hasn't been sleeping well and is starting to find simple movements quite difficult. Apparently this is my fault and the fault of 'my' son (as he is always referred to when he's making her uncomfortable). These two things, combined with our failures recently to properly 'relax' (when we're home we always say 'lets relax after we do this') made me spring into action yesterday, and find a mini solution.

Alise and I both enjoy staying in a hotel room. There's nothing quite like the comfort of a fresh bed, a big TV, a bathroom just steps away, and room service. There is actually a really nice hotel that's a 5 minute walk from our house, which I considered for this weekend. We both like to swim though, so I decided that I'd just do a Priceline.com search for something in Boston that had a good chance at a pool. I went with the 'name your own price' thing, so we wouldn't know in advance where we'd spend the night, but I selected 4* or higher in the area.

For anyone wondering why I chose to take Alise on a mini vacation in the city in which we live, instead of going further afield; I say this. She's 8 months pregnant, I'd like to stay close to her hospital. We don't really care where we are anyway, it's the room and relaxation that's important.

So, I settled down in front of Priceline.com to name my own price.

I've tried this before, but the feeling never changes. I actually picture William Shat-ner standing behind me, just like on the commercials. Coaching me, teasing me, insulting me.

'Median price for a 4* in Boston is $150', I said. 'I'll bid $100'

'Is that the best you can do?' Shat-ner scoffs.

'Okay, $80. $80 is fair, that'll get us something'

'Namby Pamby', he sneers

'FINE! FINE SHAT-NER! FUCK YOU! $60! THERE! $60 BASTARD BUCKS! STICK THAT IN YOUR STARSHIP-FUCKING-ENTERPRISE YOU TALENTLESS WANKER!'

To my shock, and the shock of William Shat-ner, it worked. I got us a room in a 4* hotel near to the airport. It has a pool, a fitness center, a beautiful restaurant, and room views of either the city skyline, the harbor, or the airport runway. I'm secretly hoping for a view of the airport runway. I love watching planes take off and land.

So hopefully, we'll have a nice relaxing weekend, free from the worries of 'things we should be doing'. I'll take photos, hopefully of planes.

B.I.G.

2010-02-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

I received an email from a reader of this blog yesterday.

She told me that her daughter was born 5 weeks ago, and was 10.5 lbs. TEN AND A HALF POUNDS!! That's a big babeh.

A friend here at work has a son who has just turned 2, and is 3 feet tall. THREE FEET!! That's a big toddler.

All of which is making me wonder if Alise and I severely underestimated the size of our child. We have bought a lot of clothes, ranging in sizes from 'newborn' to 18 months. We are fully aware that babies grow quickly, but now are worrying that he won't even get to wear some of these clothes. If our boy is over 10 pounds when he's born, he'll likely already be too big for the newborn stuff, how upsetting will that be?

Thankfully, we do know people who are having boys after us. Clothes will be passed along, possibly still with tags on. When he grows too big for his crib it will convert into a toddler bed and we'll get our money's worth out of that. The changing table will be storage for other things. We'll cope with his growth.

But still. Some babies are born big, some grow fast. What's the rush little ones? Do you have any idea how cute some of these clothes are? Don't you even care?

A message from beyond the womb...

2010-02-16T06:29:00.001-08:00

Dear Alise and Jeremy,

As we have previously discussed, I will be arriving for my stay with you guys on Monday, March 15th. I trust that you have everything ready for my arrival, but wanted to remind you of the following.

* I will arrive naked. I will not bring any clothes with me. Please ensure that clothes are provided.

* I do not speak your language. I shall make attempts to learn, but this will take some time. Until that point, I shall communicate to you in shrieks and cries. Learn what each mean, it'll benefit us both.

* I will be hungry, often. I prefer homemade food, ifyaknowwhatImean.

* I do not care to fit into your schedules. I will wake when I want to, eat when I desire, and sleep when I am sleepy. Clocks, appointments, and your sanity mean nothing to me.

* Please clean me. And please change me. When you change me, clean me too. When you've just changed me, prepare to change me again. I cannot control what goes on down there and frankly have no desire to learn right now.

* I really like things that rattle. They bring out the ultra-cute animal in me.

* Please arrange for me to be monitored at all times. Even when asleep. Listen to me while I sleep, and watch me when I'm awake. At times, both listen and watch. Worry about me constantly, if you don't mind; and never leave me alone with Coco.

* I have no money. I shall pay you in smiles and possibly giggles. You cannot resell these.

* I shall not stay for long, only around 20 years or so. At this point you will help me to find somewhere else to live, and keep my room open for return visits.

* There better be monkeys in my room.

I'm sure that if the above is adhered to, we'll have a smashing time together.

With love,

Boy.

Video Diary!

2010-02-14T15:25:00.000-08:00

The nursery is pretty much done!! To celebrate, a special video diary. Happy Sunday and Valentine's Day everyone!

Happy Long Weekend!

2010-02-12T11:47:00.001-08:00

I don't have much to say today, apart from Happy Valentine's Day for Sunday, and happy long weekend for all of those that qualify. We are planning to finish the nursery and put everything together, and hopefully getting some much deserved rest. We're into the final stretch now and this will be the last long weekend before the boy gets here, and we are hoping that we'll make the most of it and have fun, sleep, and enjoy each others company.

'S No Snow

2010-02-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I, along with the rest of the people in my building, and along with many workers in Massachusetts, were allowed to go home early so as to avoid getting snarled in the monster snowstorm that was rapidly approaching. Alise heeded the early warnings and worked from home, and we all gathered around computer monitors checking the forecasts. None of us really thought to look out of the window, because we live in the 21st century now and we're way more advanced than that. If we'd thought to look out of the window we'd have seen that it was actually raining; but technology beats reality, and we left at noon.

It ended up basically raining all day. Sometimes it snowed, but not significantly. It was a faux storm, and we were allowed home early for nothing.

At least this gave me a chance to start putting together the changing table. I've finished the first draft. It currently looks kind of like a drunken crib, and will bear the weight, comfortably, of a paper towel. Nothing more.

I'll finish it this weekend. We both have a long weekend, so we're planning on doing laundry, cleaning a bit, finishing up the nursery, and playing Playstation. We'll fit it all in, hopefully.

Snow Day!

2010-02-10T13:02:00.000-08:00

Alise and I are both at home, having a snow day. Alise worked from home today, while my office closed at noon because of the impending storm.

Funny thing is, it's now 4pm and there really isn't any snow to speak of! It's currently snowing, but not settling. I'm therefore sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, watching Aston Villa v's Manchester United.

I did start to put together the Ikea changing table a couple of hours ago. I then swore quite a lot, threw down the Ikea key thingy that's supposed to help me, and promised that I'd go back to it and finish it shortly.

I might take a nap first though...

We're Keeping an Eye on You...

2010-02-09T08:31:00.001-08:00

We had another ultrasound this morning.

Because Alise has Crohn's, and is therefore classified as 'high risk', we've been getting very regular ultrasounds and appointments with her various doctors. I swear that this child has been photographed more often than I have, but it is wonderful to keep knowing that he is developing well and is healthy. According to the OBG/YN, if Alise were to go into labor now they wouldn't even try to stop it with drugs, they'd just get her in for the birth. That's a pretty scary, but also comforting thought.

We ended up watching some of the Superbowl on Sunday, cheering fairly halfheartedly for the Saints. I'm really trying to learn this sport so that if our son develops an interest, I'll be able to at least converse with him without him calling me 'lame' to my face. That'll probably happen anyway. But still! I'm trying. While we watched it, we reckoned that with our height, our fairly sporting figures, and our genes; there could be a possibility that he might have the physique to one day play the sport; we built an image of him as Tom Brady, dashing, athletic, strong and draped in supermodels.

This morning, driving away from the ultrasound, reality tried to cross the road.

A young man, probably about ten years old, hovered on the sidewalk near to a pedestrian crossing. He hesitated a few times, dancing in the road, as he looked at us. I waved him across (since 1, I'm nice like that and 2, IT'S THE LAW). He was carrying what looked like a musical instrument in a black case, and he wore glasses. He looked a little uncomfortable, a little lost, and little like I often do.

'That's our future', Alise said. I had no choice but to agree.

Good Friends + Baby Shower = 'Stuff'

2010-02-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

Friends are so cool. We are still both on a bit of a high after the weekend, we had a great time on Saturday at the shower, and then met up with Stacy, Ken and Kate for breakfast on Sunday. Alexandra joined us, before we dropped her off at the bus station so that she could get back to NYC.

Of course, with more 'stuff' we needed more places to store 'stuff'. We took advantage of it being Superbowl Sunday and went to Ikea last night, where we bought a changing table (with shelves to put 'stuff' on), and some containers and cute boxes to store the rest of the 'stuff'. We have a long weekend coming up, so we'll spend a day putting together Ikea furniture (I need at least a day and plenty of patience/coffee/naps to do this), and we'll put the final touches to the nursery. We are really getting close to D Day now, and while we are nervous as all hell; we're pretty much ready for this life-changing event. We have another ultrasound tomorrow morning, and we'll see where the boy is and what he's doing in there.

He's been very active recently. When he first started to visually move Alise's stomach with his kicks they were few and far between, and felt to me, an 'outsider', like gas, bubbles, or butterflies. Now if Alise 'spoons' me in bed with her belly to my back, our boy kicks me in the kidneys. That woke me up the other day. That was kind of trippy.

A long and Wonderful Day

2010-02-06T19:33:00.000-08:00

We're home now, after having a lovely day.

It was the 'friends' baby shower today. We started by picking up our awesome friend Alexandra from the bus station, after she suffered the greyhound from NYC for 4 hours to be here with us today. We really appreciated that she came, and she's currently sitting with us on the couch (this in no way influences the things I'm saying about her, by the way).

We then went to the shower, hosted by another of our awesome friends, Stacy. Stacy has also been wonderful throughout this pregnancy, and hosted a great party.

We were joined by close friends and had a great time. I'm almost afraid to list people for fear of forgetting anyone; but thanks to Stacy, Ken, Kate, Jenny, Craig, Kathy, Ian, Hollie, Barbara, Ellie, Alexandra, Shawn, Laura and Kris. You're all brilliant and generous friends and we really appreciate your presence (and your presents, of course!) Stacy was a great host and kept everyone fed, watered and entertained, and she'll never know how much we truly appreciate her.

This is far too sappy for even the baby daddy to bear, but the warmth of friends is something that melts him sometimes. Thanks everyone, you're the best.

Doctor Doctor, Gimme The News...

2010-02-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

We met with the doctor on Wednesday evening.

As I mentioned before, this was a meet and greet session to give us the opportunity to 'interview' the person who will be responsible for the health of our boy. It's a big decision, and we need to know that the person that we choose is someone that we like, that we feel is competent, and that we feel will always have the best interests of our child at heart.

We ended up spending about an hour chatting with the doctor. He was very interested to hear all about our boy and our lives, and seemed very knowledgeable. He knows all about Crohn's, and has certainly heard about the medications that Alise is taking.

One of the biggest questions that we have in relation to Crohn's is that of breastfeeding. There is little information out there about the chance of the medication transferring to the baby through milk, and it has left us both a little nervous. Alise would like to breastfeed and I support this decision 100%, but we both aware and wary of the risks that this may pose. The latest research that Alise has uncovered about this is that it is probably safe, and baby should just be monitored to ensure that no harm is coming to him.

This is where the doctor excelled, in my eyes. He told us that his priority is for the health of the child, but that he understands our desire to breastfeed. He told us that he would talk with colleagues and do more research himself, before coming back to us with his recommendation. He seem like the kind of doctor who would much rather tell us the right thing over the thing that'll make us happy, which is really one of the qualities that I prefer in my medical homies. This doctor can stay.

Mind = Blown

2010-02-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

Did you know that John Tyler, the 10th President of the United States who served in office between 1841 and 1845 was a grandfather? Amazing right?

No? Well how about this. Two of his grandchildren are alive today. Serious! The President had a son when he was around 70, that son fathered a child, born in 1928 and still alive today, also when he was in his 70's. This is my 'blow your mind fact of the day' for today.

You see, that's the thing about being a bloke. You can throw your seed around whenever you want, and there will be a pretty good chance that a tree shall grow. It is remarkably common for men to be able to father after they reach the age of retirement.

Not so, of course, for women. Alise is in remarkably good shape for her age and looks years younger than she actually is, and has taken good care of her body. There will however come a point when she is past childbearing age, and the opportunity to give a sibling to our firstborn will pass. Perhaps this is why people are already asking if we are going to have another child?

To me, it's a crazy question. 'Are you going to have another?' people ask. 'Hold your fucking horses!' I reply, 'We haven't had one yet!'. It's a little like having a jet-pack on order, and being asked if we'll buy another one in a couple of years. How about we play with this jet-pack and see if we like it, yeah?

I suppose though, considering the age thing, it's a valid question. I just wish people would let us have this one and enjoy him for a while first, you know?

Shopping!!!

2010-02-03T04:42:00.000-08:00

We're going shopping tonight.

We're shopping for a Pediatrician. We've shopped around online but now we are ready to meet one in the flesh. We took some recommendations from neighbors, and have high hopes that the one that we are meeting with is going to work for us.

We did consider a different place, and called them to make an appointment. As far as I'm concerned we are customers, so we deserve to be treated as such. When we called them we were told that 1) We would have to pay $20 to walk in the door, 2) we could only visit them at hours that didn't really work for us, and 3) We couldn't speak with a lactation specialist while we were there. I finished the call to that place with a 'ok, thank you very much yousnarkysnidebitch' and hung up. We tried to call again, and this time Alise spoke to the same woman. She tried to ask a few questions about the doctors and their specialties, but she was pretty rude and curt, so Alise ended her call in much the same way that I did.

I've always thought that the friendliness of a receptionist is key to my feelings about the company or organization as a whole. The receptionist is the first person that we will speak with when we are calling in a panic, the receptionist is someone who will either reassure us, or infuriate us. The receptionist that I spoke with at this particular place was a bitchy snarky fuckface, and we won't be speaking with her again.

We then called a local hospital, which is actually a 10 minute walk from our house. The receptionist here was lovely, friendly, and told us that we absolutely did not have to pay to come and speak with them. Alise asked her the same questions that she had asked the snarkysnidebitch, and she was very helpful. She even said to one question 'I'm not entirely sure myself, hang on, I'll find out and call you back in 10 minutes', and was true to her word. She was reassuring, and I know that if we speak with her in a panic she'll be experienced and caring enough to direct us properly.

So, we have high hopes for this place. The Doctor is a specialist in pediatrics and pediatric gastroenterology, which considering that we both have crohn's in our family is a selling point. We shall see...

Groundhog Day!

2010-02-02T05:53:00.000-08:00

Punxsutawney Phil, the most famous of the groundhogs, has today 'declared' that there will be an early spring this year. I approve this message.

It has been a pretty bitter winter. We haven't (yet) had a ton of snow, but it has been very cold. We do try to keep the house fairly warm but we're aware that heat costs money and we're a pretty frugal couple. The other night/morning when I stayed up to watch the tennis it was very chilly downstairs, and I wrapped myself in a blanket. Our pet mouse on Saturday seemed to be having difficulty and her body temperature was very low, so Alise held her in her cleavage for a while to warm her bones.

There has, though, been a few signs that this winter may be breaking. It is now lighter in the evenings, it's not pitch black when I get off the train. There is little snow/ice left on the ground, and I came to work this morning without long-johns. Time continues to fly, seasons pass, baby will soon be coming.

For some reason though, I'm still obsessed with the temperature and I know that I will be year round when the baby arrives. When he gets here we won't just be able to sleep through the cold, we'll have to 'get up' to tend to him. The house will need to be warmer for longer. I want him to live in a world of comfort, warmth and love; not in a place of cold air, sharp corners, and winter illness. God, I'm nesting.

The bathroom is done and looks a million times better than it did. The nursery is basically finished, but needs to be cleaned and things need to be put up. Right now it looks good, but a little bare and sterile. I want it to be cozy, full of light, full of joy. I want things on the ceiling and things on the walls. I want rugs on the floor and toys in a yet-to-be-purchased chest. I want little books on the shelves and socks in little baskets. I want there to not be a modem in there. I want to windows that do not rattle when the wind blows. I want for him everything that I could never have. I want him to be happy, healthy, and be able to hear properly. I want to give him the sun and the moon and the stars. I want him to be safe, secure, and loved.

Sometimes I know want too much. Sometimes I know have to settle for less. This isn't one of those times.

EDIT: Wikipedia apparently gave me duff information this morning. The groundhog actually predicted 6 more weeks of winter. Stupid groundhog.

DON'T PANIC! EVERYONE CALM DOWN! OH GOD OH GOD!!

2010-02-01T07:31:00.001-08:00

After the trials of Friday, with the early morning hospital visit, and coming at the end of what was a pretty eventful and tiring week, a massage was a welcome treat for Alise.

As part of her birthday I bought Alise a massage at the local 'Massage Envy'. She was already pregnant at the time, and enjoyed it so much that I signed up to buy her one pre-natal massage per month, for 6 months. She had her fifth on Friday, and we'll hopefully be able to squeeze one more in before baby comes.

I drive Alise to the massage place, mainly because when she comes out of the place she's sleepy and super relaxed; so driving home might not be the safest thing for her. Usually I drop her off there and then go over the road where there is a supermarket and CVS, and I waste an hour comparison shopping. I go into CVS and see how much the Gatorade (for example) is, then go next door to the supermarket to see how much it is in there. I then buy a load of crap, pile it in the car, and go wait the last 10 minutes for Alise to come out.

Last Friday I was still on high alert after our false alarm that morning. I figured that the people at Massage Envy would be very capable if Alise were to actually go into labor or something. Alise would call me on my cell phone, I'd be there within a minute.

And then I remembered that Alise had left her cell phone at home. I started to feel sick.

We rely so much on cell phones these days, but they really are terribly useful things. I doubt though that Alise knows my cell phone numbers, since to call me she dials 'contacts - jeremy - call'. Without having her phone, I'm uncontactable.

I mentioned this to Alise when I picked her up. 'You have to make sure you have your cell phone on your person from now on!' I told her.

We then went to Target on Saturday night, partly to get out of the house where paint fumes were present. Paint fumes are apparently not safe for a preggo, so we got some fresh air. I had a terrible headache, and Alise needed to pee (surprise surprise!) and look at maternity clothes, so we arranged that I'd go and get painkillers and water, she'd pee, and we'd rendezvous at the clothing section.

After buying and taking pills, I tried to find her. Nowhere to be found. I tried calling her on her cell, no answer. I swooped around the store, increasingly frantically, trying to find her. Calling her, not getting an answer, panicking. I eventually got to the fitting rooms where I asked the clerk 'young lady? big red coat? pregnant? here??'.

Of course, Alise was trying on clothes. Her cell phone still at home heard only by the cats and Coco. I wasn't happy, and I think it's accurate to say that I scolded her.

Which... is a little too much; probably. I am a little too worried these days, and I'm a little annoying. Alise did take it in good heart (as per usual, patience of a saint that woman), and promised that she would from that point forth carry her cell phone on her at all times; but I really should also learn to calm down; just a little. Otherwise the next time that we rush to the hospital it might not be for her, or for the baby.

Aww.... Is someone Mr. Cranky? Does he need a nap?

2010-01-31T18:20:00.000-08:00

I'll be perfectly honest with you... I'm a little cranky right now. Andy Murray lost the tennis, I didn't get nearly enough sleep, and I've been trying to fix my 'slow as ass' computer for a while now. It's not the recipe for a good mood.

We did though have a lovely time in New Hampshire at the family baby shower. I have added some photos below... Ill try to get the rest onto flickr and let you see all of them without having to twist your head from side to side :)

EDIT: Suck-sess!!! The flickr stream to your right has now been updated. Feel free to peruse the photos of the family baby shower, with bonus 'is the camera working? I'll take photos of the animals before we leave' shots. Enjoy.

Tonight, I'm Scottish

2010-01-30T22:29:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I'm doing something that most people would consider a little crazy. I'm forcing myself to stay awake, so that I can watch the Australian Tennis Open Men's Final, between Roger Federer (boo!) and Andy Murray (yay!!).

Alise thinks I'm nutso. I think this is basically for two reasons.

1) She really isn't a big sports fan.

She enjoys sports, she shows an interest in sports, but she isn't fanatical. This really isn't a bad thing; in fact its probably a good thing. Being a sports fan can be a curse that you live with for life, and the overpaid idiots that you support often end up sucking more and more as your life progresses. My football (soccer) team, Nottingham Forest, for years developed new and interesting ways to suck even more than they had the season before, yet still I love them, for I am an addict.

2) Alise is American, and I don't think she understands.

Now, let me explain. You see, I'm British. British people, quite simply; suck at sports. There are 4 major tennis tournaments played each year, but a British man hasn't won one for 74 years. 74 years! Do you know how many Americans have won in that time? A shit-ton. The Brits, despite the fact that one of the tournaments is in their own bloody country and played on grass, which no-one else does anymore, historically suck at tennis. We're awful, we're terrible, most of the British top 10 serve underarm and are allowed to let the ball bounce twice before trying to hit it back.

We don't just suck at tennis. We invented a lot of sports, we export them to other countries, and are soundly beaten every time we play. Cricket matches against Australia usually end in our tears. We lose rugby games against the likes of New Zealand by horrific scorelines, our football (soccer) team hasn't won the World Cup since 1966, and only won it then when it was held in England and we benefited from some very dodgy refereeing in the final. We suck, we know we suck, everyone else knows we suck.

But sometimes... sometimes someone comes along to give us hope. To give us the opportunity to climb a very small stepladder and shout at the tops of our very muted voices 'Hey! America! Sure you always win the Olympics, sure you have Lance Armstrong, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods (still the best golfer, admit it), Pete Sampras, Carl Lewis and Muhammed Ali, but we have Caroline Smithwickson, the greatest lawn bowls champion this side of Swindon! Rejoice!'

So tonight, I'm Scottish, and remembering that Scotland, despite it's wishes, is a part of the same Great Britain that I'm from. Andy Murray is a terribly talented tennis player and has a chance to end 74 years of hurt. I'll be watching Andy, I'll be cheering.

Bathroom and Shower

2010-01-30T20:00:00.001-08:00

This weekend is devoted entirely to the Bathroom, and a shower.

Today, in a fit of motivation rarely seen in this house, I painted the bathroom. In fairness Alise has mentioned the condition of this room many times since she moved in, and this week I decided (entirely on my own) that it was time to repaint. We had some pretty ugly plastic sheet-type tiling before, so I painted over that and tidied up the place. If I do say so myself, it looks pretty good and feels a lot more like a nice bathroom than it did before. I might post photos soon! But I probably won't. I'm a fickle bastard where photos are concerned.

Tomorrow, we go to New Hampshire for the first of our three showers! This one is the 'family shower', Alise's grandparents and many of her aunts, uncles, cousins and nieces live in the Granite State. We're both feeling a little uncomfortable about being at the center of attention at a party thrown for us, but we'll have a great time, I'm sure.

On the subject of showers.... more than a couple of people have asked if I'll be attending. My stock response is usually 'well yeah, why the fuck not?'. Apparently a traditional baby shower is without men, but to me this seems a little too old fashioned. The delivery of the child used to be without males too (apart from the Doctor, he's always a man in old fashioned land), and baby would be only changed and bathed by the mother. I'm planning on being there for the birth, on being a true partner in all of this (hell, I'd breastfeed him if I could), why shouldn't I be a part of the fun things too?

A False Alarm

2010-01-29T13:07:00.001-08:00

Alise and I spent this morning in the labor and delivery department this morning.

It all started last night when Alise developed what she described as 'something that feels like menstrual cramping'. Apparently, this can be a sign that the baby is coming. We are both painfully aware that first time parents can often jump the gun, so we decided to wait a while before calling anyone.

It continued until we went to bed. I slept like a baby (I woke every couple of hours crying until Alise latched me onto her breast); but Alise didn't sleep at all. She had to go to the bathroom every 15 seconds or so, the pain continued.

At some point, she called her mom (who currently lives on the west coast and is 3 hours behind us). Her mom confirmed that she may be having contractions.

Sometime around 5am, Alise called her doctor and spoke to the person on call. He advised that we should go to the hospital.

It's probably a good job that we did. For one, we now actually know where the labor and delivery department of the hospital is (after going to the wrong building once, and the wrong floor in the correct building three times); for two's, we know that the baby is fine and is, on the coldest day of the year, happy to stay inside. They hooked Alise up to monitors, checked that the baby was alright and determined after quite a long time and a couple of tests that he wasn't ready to come out of the oven, just yet.

This time it was a false alarm, but still... it made us realize that anything can happen in the next few weeks. Despite the fact that we've scheduled a C-Section for him, he can't yet read emails or calenders and will come when he bloody well wants to.

Drug Rhymes With Hug

2010-01-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

Alise and I are both still sick, and are both taking plenty of drugs. Over the counter, of course.

The difficulty is that while I can take anything (and have done, I woke in a Nyquil coma this morning and needed Alise to drive me to the train station to avoid being late for work), Alise has to be super careful. If you look at basically any medication, they all state that 'if pregnant or breastfeeding, consult your doctor before taking'.

There's a reason that they do this, of course. Drugs are tested on people before release to the general public, but the chances of getting pregnant people to test new drugs are slim. The drug companies (bless them, they're so nice... have you hugged a drug company today?) therefore have to put these warnings on their labels to distance themselves from lawsuits when things go wrong. The downside is that pregnant people really can't take anything without first calling their doctor.

To be honest, I'm even reluctant to tell you what Alise has been told that she can take. The baby daddy doesn't want to be sued. To keep things legal I'll just tell you that it sounds something like paltzer spoltzer flus. Oh, and Bobotussin Shmee Flem.

Sleepy Sleepy Sick Sick

2010-01-27T04:50:00.001-08:00

Alise and I are both sick at the moment.

Yesterday we both started our days feeling a little under the weather, but able to function. Alise has a terrible cough, I have the aches and chills. I think it's basically the same illness, it's just hit us differently.

Last night we went to bed early (at around 9pm, we're so old), and tried to sleep. We both had varying success, but woke often. At around 3am we were both dozing back to sleep, when Coco decided to join in, and she let out the strangest 'howl' that I've ever heard come from a dog.

Of course I checked on Coco, and she was fine. She looked at me with a 'hey! what are you doing up?' expression, wagged her tail and wondered if it might be breakfast time yet.

It was at around 4am that, while trying to get back to sleep again, I realized something. This is how life is going to be, for quite some time. Sure Alise and I both being sick at the same time is rare, but we both desire a good nights sleep and are both often a little cranky if we go without. Pretty soon we'll be interrupted constantly throughout the night by our son, who's crying might well make Coco whine and howl.

'There are many things to look forward to', I thought as I tried to console myself last night. But sleep, uninterrupted sleep, isn't one of them.

It's the Final Countdown! (na na na nah, na na na na naahh)

2010-01-26T08:19:00.000-08:00

Alise and I had an ultrasound this morning.

Mother and baby are both doing very well. The boy is now just over 5 pounds (which is about 7 dollars, for Americans), and he's in the 67th percentile, growth wise. That means that while he's big, he's not huge and he's developing nicely. The doctor even thinks that she saw hair on his head (curly, like his daddy) and he's currently taking the upside down position, his head is to the lower left of Alise's belly, his little arse wedging itself close to her ribs.

To be totally honest, this is all still a little surreal to me. If that baby were to decide to come out now, he'd likely be fine (albeit in the hospital for a while, no doubt). There is a living human being inside of Alise right now, her net total of legs is currently four. She has twenty fingers, two hearts, and one penis. Alise is currently making hair for someone else. It's all a bit strange.

But, this isn't going to last for much longer. We have less than seven weeks now until he comes out to join us. That's not long, is it?

Welcome to the Hellmouth

2010-01-25T08:37:00.001-08:00

When I got to the office this morning, it was 107 degrees. I'm not exaggerating. Apparently the heating system broke down over the weekend, and instead of taking cold air from outside and heating that up, it was heating the already hot air inside the building... over, and over, and over. It's making me feel quite uncomfortable, and I have to go to the bathroom a lot to expel the gallons of water that I've been drinking.

Of course, this is temporary. I can take a walk outside, where it's a lovely 45 degrees. The worst case scenario is that the heat remains oppressive for the remainder of the day, but it'll be back to normal tomorrow. I'm leaving work at 4:30pm, and will soon be comfortable. Life really isn't that bad.

I've emailed with Alise to tell her of these conditions, naturally. She's being very sympathetic and asks for updates. I'm sure that if I were her though, I'd be thinking 'yeah? you have to pee all the time? that's got to suck... what's that like?', and 'Oh really? you feel uncomfortable? How terrible for you! come back to me in five months if it's still the same, jackass'.

Pregnancy really isn't a piece of cake, you know. Alise has had a remarkable trouble free time, but there are still side effects. The weight of the baby belly and her boobs has put a great strain on her back, and her movements are now slower and more deliberate. The constant need to pee has been ever-present throughout this pregnancy, and she's having a hard time sleeping. My son (as he is often called when he's acting up) apparently takes great pleasure in kicking his mommy from the inside, and Alise has likened his antics at times to his trying to rip out her ribs as though they are bars on a window.

Alise. For all of the times recently that I've told you that my back hurts, my knees hurt, or that I'm just generally uncomfortable; I apologize. I really do.

Video Diary!

2010-01-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

For those of you that have followed this blog from the beginning, and who may like to go back and view all of the video diaries, you may find that some of them have 'expired'. Worry not, I have copies of them all saved onto my computer and I will find somewhere more permanent to put them on the interwebs.

For now, settle for this. Last week we went on a river walk with Coco, on one of those days when it was nice enough to be outside, but cold enough for there to still be snow on the ground. It actually hasn't snowed properly here for a couple of weeks but everywhere still has an icy tundra feel, it's slippery outside and we've both nearly fallen on the ice. Bastard winter, I shall celebrate your demise!

Who ate all the pies?

2010-01-22T06:39:00.001-08:00

Alise and I both had a weigh in last night.

Alise has been gaining weight gradually, and steadily. I shall not reveal her poundage on this blog because I'm a gentleman, and also because I prefer my testicles to be attached to my body; but suffice it to say, she's gained some. She didn't have any morning sickness as we started this journey (thankfully), and had a healthy appetite so at a time when a lot of mothers to be actually lose weight, she was starting to bulk up. She's still wonderfully healthy and generally happy, and looks radiant. I did (cruelly) compare her pose while putting on her boots to that of an unbalanced turkey, but I hope that she knows that I truly think that she's beautiful, balanced, and providing a fine first home to our son.

I also weighed myself. I've also put on weight. I do not have an excuse.

In the last month or so, I've put on something like 7 pounds. 7 pounds!! I'm now 153 pounds and am the heaviest that I've ever been. I tried to explain to Alise that my hair does need cutting, I did need to blow my nose and that my socks were terribly heavy; but I didn't kid her or myself. I'm getting fat, and it needs to stop.

It is, apparently, common. Father's to be often gain weight during the pregnancy, and along with the mother lose it once the poop-monster is unveiled. For me though, this represents a sizable gain and comes without any real excuse. Perhaps I've been eating a little more? I certainly shouldn't be this heavy.

I think it probably comes down to karma. If there is someone upstairs (or downstairs, whatever) who can control these things, he (or she, whatever) probably overheard my turkey comment and decided to act. Message received I say, message received.

Don't you want the best for your baby?

2010-01-21T06:23:00.001-08:00

We completed the registry a couple of weeks ago.

For anyone interested, you can go to www.babiesrus.com and search for the registry using 'Alise Brann' as registrant, or 'Jeremy Crossland' as co-registrant. While there, please take a moment to examine some of the more ingenious, and some of the utterly crazy things that you can now buy for baby.

Of course, babies are a multi-billion dollar industry these days. In days of old children needed just smaller clothes and possibly diapers (cloth, of course), and slept wherever they were put. We both know people who spent a night or two in a drawer, and they seemed to make it through infancy without too many problems. Now of course whenever you go into a store you are bombarded with 'You need this!', 'You're not seriously thinking about going without this are you??' and of course 'Don't you want the best for your child? Then get this!'. It's a little silly, really; and we've tried to stick to things that we actually think we might like.

Some of the things available now actually do seem kind of clever, but in hindsight might not give great value. There is a little bath thing (on our list), that has a little hand operated shower so that you can bathe the baby in a full sized bath and give them a little shower. It's something that I saw and thought 'OMG! THAT'S SO KEWL!', but in all honesty my parents home made version (called 'a mug') was probably just as effective. However. I liked it, so it's on the list.

Some of the things really do seem to have a good purpose. They now sell a pacifier that also doubles as a thermometer. This is a great idea, and it went onto our list.

Some of the things are so funny that they had to be included. They now sell a breast milk testing kit, to test your milk for alcohol levels. perfect for those 'Oh my god, how much did we drink at the casino last night? Fuck knows! Better test the milk, to be on the safe side' moments. I had no idea that these existed, and despite the fact that Alise hardly drinks at all; I stuck it on the list as a gag gift.

Some of the things available now, I thank the lord for. There are now many different types of thermometers available, 'rectal' isn't the only option. Thank you lord, thank you.

If you're having a baby, go easy in there. Some of the things that you buy will be totally useless, some will save your sanity. We have no idea what kind of boy he will be and what he will like, but at least we know that we'll be able to take his temperature in a slightly less intrusive way than when I was a child.

Welcome, Olive

2010-01-20T05:40:00.000-08:00

Trust me, I know what you're thinking.

Getting a new kitten was a terrible idea. We have enough on our plates as it is, and we still had three cats. Losing Iris was a terrible experience, but we should probably have been thankful for all that we have and probably shouldn't have taken in a new cat.

But! We got her, and we love her. We've named her Olive (though she usually goes by 'Kitten'), and she's wormed her way firmly into our hearts. She's obsessed with Alise and will sleep on her pillow (just as Iris would), and has formed an unlikely love affair with Coco. They are both crazy about each other, and have quickly become best friends despite Coco being a 70 pound dog and Olive being a 2 pound kitten.

Make no mistake, Iris was irreplacable. But Olive is a wonderful cat who has already given us a lot of joy.

In 'bump' news, Alise now has quite the belly! I promise that photos will follow shortly. For now, you'll have to make do with a couple of photos of the kitten, guaranteed to make you say 'aaww'.

More about how much I suck

2010-01-19T10:30:00.001-08:00

I apologize, I'm sorry, j'ai le regret.

I think the reason for my absence on this blog really boils down to my fears for the future.

For the longest time, Alise really showed no signs of pregnancy. We both knew that baby was coming; but we weren't hit by daily reminders. We went on a traumatic yet lovely trip to DC. We lost Iris and cried buckets, and we worried over Coco's condition for weeks. We still worry over Coco's condition. Thoughts of 'baby' kind of went to the backs of our minds.

And then, recently; it smacked us again. WE'RE HAVING A BABY! A BABY BOY! A PENIS HOLDING POOP MACHINE! It's scary.

So maybe I decided to just not update the blog, because to do so would mean that I wouldn't have to think about the baby. Maybe that day felt a little easier to cope with. Maybe the next day I felt the same. Maybe I hid my head in the sand while we busied ourselves with things like 'snow', and 'Christmas', and 'our new kitten'.

But now its the new year, and a baby is coming. We are having at least 3 baby showers (more showers than I have myself in a typical month), the nursery is nearly ready to accept guests, and we're back on the baby agenda.

My head is out of the sand and I'm back on the blog. Let's roll!

Whisper... Whisper it softly...

2010-01-14T06:13:00.001-08:00

guess who's back... back again. baby daddy's back... tell your friends.

It has been a while! But in the spirit of Christmas, New Year and MLK jr day, let's all celebrate our return from the wilderness and not ask any silly questions. K? K!

Truth be told, there was no real reason for my absence Life did get shit for a while what with the nightmare trip to DC, the passing of our beloved Iris, and then a Coco 'bloat' incident (she seems fine now, thanks). But now I'm back and we all have A LOT to catch up on!

We miss you like crazy

2009-11-30T10:40:00.000-08:00

We are both still a little in shock.

Iris was an amazing cat. She was rescued from a hoarder who had approx 50 cats in her basement, and Alise took her knowing full well that she had a number of health issues.

Iris truly adored Alise. She followed her like a dog, and literally thought of her as her mother. The bond that those two had was unlike any that I've seen between human and cat, and was just one of the things that encouraged me to fall in love with Alise. The compassion, unconditional love, and attention to care that she gave to Iris opened my eyes to the warmth and strength of her character. Alise made many sacrifices for Iris, and Iris truly appreciated all that Alise did for her.

We are very thankful for what we have. Coco is a wonderful dog, and we have 3 cats with great personalities. We will soon welcome our beautiful baby boy, and Alise and I will sacrifice and strive to ensure that his life is filled with love and happiness.

We shall never forget Iris, though. Time will heal the wounds, but the lessons that she taught us and the memories that she so often gave us will never fade.

A very sad day

2009-11-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

This morning we said goodbye to Iris.

Iris was the most wonderful, loving, crazy, affectionate cat.

She was originally Alise's, but moved in with Random the cat when Alise joined me here. She quickly moved into my heart, and became my favourite. She could be a total pain in the arse at times, but she was awesome and will be most terribly missed by all of us.

Thankfully she wasn't sick for long, but was in pain and we rushed her to the emergency vet. The terrible diagnosis was reached quickly, the only option made with a heavy heart. Iris wasn't to suffer. She deserved nothing less.

I'm going to miss you, little Iris. I'm going to miss you a lot.

Don't go crazy.... Don't go crazy...

2009-11-23T17:41:00.000-08:00

There is a lady that I work with (who's permission I have to recount this story to you), who when she gave birth was desperate for a boy. So desperate, in fact, that when the stork delivered a girl, she said 'well hell to that' and dressed her as a boy for the first five years of her life.

This is a little crazy.

Alise and I have been going a little crazy recently, shopping for the boy. We had already bought a few clothes for newborns and 3 month old babies; but this weekend went a touch further.

It all started when we took a trip to the local Carters outlet store. For anyone not familiar with Carters, I say only this. Get familiar with it. The clothes (already reasonably priced) are 50-60% off at their outlets, and if you give them your email address they'll send you coupons for a further 20% discount. They also have a reward card, giving you $10 off when you spend $100. We've been shopping!

So this weekend we started at our local store, and bought about $60 each. With the discounts on offer, this added up to quite a few clothes.

Feeling adventurous, we then took the somewhat crazy decision to drive a good 2 hours to the Freeport, ME outlet stores. Alise remembered that the Baby Gap there had some good deals, and I wanted a new pair of winter boots.

The Baby Gap sucked. I found no new boots. We did find another Carters outlet store.

Approx $160 later, we left Maine clutching large bags filled with clothes. We seriously have enough clothes for the first year of the boys life. We went a little crazy.

And if the boy comes out and is a girl....

Special Bonus Video

2009-11-22T17:17:00.001-08:00

Because you've all been so patient and awesome... Have another video diary. No really... have one for free.

Video Diary Time: Lost In Spa-a-a-c-c-e-e!!!

2009-11-22T06:30:00.000-08:00

Apologies for a lack of posts recently, we've been coming down from the stress that was our trip! We're back and running now though, and I've finally been able to upload the video diary that we took last Saturday, when we were basically stuck on the Maryland/Delaware border.

Dear diary...

2009-11-18T05:25:00.001-08:00

We are still stuck in Maryland. The car was fixed, and then broke down again.

We have spent some time observing the locals. Most appear to be
programmed to be nice, but are lacking in skills of reasoning and car
repair and conversations that include any level of intelligent
thought.

I wonder if we will ever leave

The burger king down the road is hiring, there is a hospital nearby.
If worse comes to worse we will just live here. Maybe it wouldn't be
so bad?

Oh boy. I just hope to all hell that our next leap, is the leap home.

--
Sent from my mobile device

It could, on reflection, have been worse...

2009-11-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

So, some back story.

Alise had a conference in DC, today (Monday) and Tomorrow. Because I've never been to DC before, and because I had the opportunity to take a couple of days off work; we decided that I would come along for the ride, we'd spend Sunday sightseeing, and then I'd chill out and relax in the hotel and see some sights for myself while Alise worked.

We thought about flying, but the flights were either really expensive or would take over 6 hours. Seeing as it's only a 7 hour drive from Boston to DC, we decided we may as well just drive. What's the worst that could happen, right?

We set off early, thinking that we'd get to DC at around 3pm, be able to check into our hotel and maybe take a little nap in luxurious comfort, and then take an evening stroll around the nations capital. Sounds delightful, doesn't it?

We were making pretty good time. We had passed through New York city without too much trouble and we were approximately 100 miles from our destination.

We then hit trouble.

Suddenly, a plume of white smoke shot from the back of the car. I went from being able to drive at 75mph, to struggling to reach 40mph. Looking back we could see the cars behind us as the emerged from the fog that we were creating. We weren't in good shape.

We pulled onto the breakdown lane, and quickly got out of the car and hopped the crash barrier. Alise got on the phone with AAA. We had no idea really where we were, but Alise was able, pretty quickly, to let the operator know where to send someone.

When our tow arrived, we got the car hitched up and got into his cab. His name was 'Country', and it was obvious why. I honestly felt like we'd gone back in time and were in 1970's Alabama, or somewhere.

'Country' towed us to a Midas Muffler, which thankfully was open on a Saturday afternoon. They diagnosed that the problem was with the turbo, which typically enough is one of the most expensive parts that can go on a Saab. Awesome. They wouldn't be able to fix the car then, so we were stuck in Delaware. In a town with apparently nothing.

Cutting a long story slightly shorter, we settled on taxing a taxi to the nearest train station and taking the train to DC. I called Amtrak, and they told me that the ONLY train on a Saturday that stopped in this town on its way to DC arrived at 8pm. It was 4:30pm. Nevermind, we thought; we'd wait at the station. Sit for a while. Possible have a delightful sandwich or pastry.

The cab driver (another wierdo, we encountered a few) dropped us off at the train station and sped away. We stood to survey our surroundings, and realised that we were going to spend the next 3 hours of our lives at what was basically a platform. There was a building but all of the doors were shut fast. We had our belongings (why I insisted on bringing my heavy gear I'll never know) and we were trapped on a platform, waiting for 3 hours for the train.

The long and the short of it is that we survived this ordeal, and got onto the train bound for DC. The hour and a half ride seemed over in minutes, comfortable seats and safety certainly helped. We got to Union station, hailed a taxi, and checked into the hotel at around 10pm.

All in all, it really could have been worse. It was though a pretty depressing ordeal, and we often swore and cried.

You know what though? I have to tell you. Alise is pregnant and we've both been trying to save money for the baby. This ordeal should probably have sent her over the edge. She was wonderful throughout though, and pretty much always had a smile on her face and dealt with thigs way better than I did.

She's pretty special, you know.

Please excuse my language...

2009-11-14T15:05:00.001-08:00

But we are having the worst fucking day in the history of wank fuck bollocks.

The pregnancy is fine, don't worry about that. No person or animal has
died. But Alise and I are having a shit arse crap day.

I shall explain more another time.

--
Sent from my mobile device

100th Post!

2009-11-11T08:49:00.001-08:00

And to mark this milestone, new ultrasound photos!

The sun'll come out... tomorrow!

2009-11-09T14:07:00.001-08:00

My apologies for not writing sooner, or for longer. Work has been very
busy (which of course, is nice), and we've both been busy at home.

The nursery is now really taking shape. We have a new light fixture in
there, complete with dimmer for the bay-bee. We've put up shelves in
the closet and we've bought more clothes and toys. We are no where
near 'ready', but we are certainly getting there.
One conversation that we've had recently has been in deciding whether
to go with cloth, or disposable diapers. Cloth are cheaper, and better
for the environment, disposable possibly fit the child better and are,
of course, easier. If anyone has any thoughts on the subject then
please weigh in!

--
Sent from my mobile device

It's a bad, mad world

2009-11-06T10:24:00.001-08:00

Today we all remember those tragically shot in Texas. There's currently breaking news concerning a mass shooting in Florida. We are still involved in two wars, unemployment is over 10% in the States while the world tries to drag itself out of a recession.

So let's have a baby!

Alise and I both follow the news regularly. While it is true that bad news is reported more than good, it's certain that we're living in a world of uncertainty. Our boy will be born, and most likely will live his life in similar times. Wars happen, people get shot, many lives are touched by tragedy.

I've often thought that it might be bad to bring a child into this world. But... maybe not. Our child will be a bright light in our lives, and will give us joy above all joy. Currently nothing makes me happier than seeing our dog Coco roll around goofily on the bed, knowing that I helped to take her from a more upsetting life and that I, certainly helped in massive measures by Alise since she joined our family, have given her a life of comfort and pleasure. Shortly I'll look into the innocent eyes our our boy and see his joy as he wakes up into the world that we've created for him.

Boy, this world is a fucked up place but joy and happiness and love do exist within it. You will be born into a small family to parents that love you unconditionally and who will sacrifice and save to ensure that you have all that you need. I felt you kick last night, and while it was probably just a reflex movement for you, it meant the world to me.

Full Speed Ahead!

2009-11-04T07:25:00.001-08:00

The nursery is painted, and we're having an electrician over this weekend to install a new light fixture and electrical sockets in there this weekend. Things are moving quickly!

Alise and I are really getting into the spirit of things now. We've been thinking of how the nursery will look, and we went to Ikea the other night to buy a Spanka, Sthummelstrob, Krenka, and Plajebomb. Or something. We're building up our collection of cute clothing and we're looking into toys, books and all things baby.

This is all most probably because Alise is showing and growing quickly. For a while there she didn't look any different at all, then she looked like she'd just gained a few pounds; but recently she's most obviously looking pregnant. On her way back from the hospital yesterday a lady gave up her seat on the train for Alise, and people in the outside world are comfortable to make comments.

The hospital visit was critical, but quick. Alise was one of the lucky ones to get the H1N1 vaccination, which is heavily recommended for pregnant women. I hope that any of you out there that are pregnant make sure to get the vaccine, and those that don't practice good hygiene methods and don't get sick!

Hallo-Wee

2009-11-02T11:02:00.001-08:00

Alise and I live in a fairly residential, well-to-do neighborhood. There are some younger families with children, there's a park within a couple of minutes walk, and plenty of grandparents. Usually for Halloween we get quite the crowd of candy grabbing children, and the 31^st October is a fun night for all.

This year we went all out. We went to Target during the day, bought another big bag of candy (to add to the 4 big bags that we'd already bought), and I got some awesome skull lanterns. When we got home I set up the lanterns so that they framed the steps to the house and could be seen from far away. I added some more lights, we lit candles on the porch, we got a big bowl ready for candy, and we both sat on the porch with our laptops.

Waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting some more.

While we did get some trick or treaters, we didn't get nearly as many as we should.

And why not? It was pretty warm on Saturday evening, it was dry, and the house looked awesome. So why?? H1N1? Scared parents banning their kids from going out in case of razor blades in candy or pedophiles? Are children just too lazy these days and stay inside watching DVD's and playing video games? What the F?

Next year our boy will be dressed for fright night, and I'm going to add a fog machine and scary noises soundtrack to our Halloween experience. I will do what it takes to ensure that we get more next year than we did this year. And if they don't come? More the year after!

Video Diary Special!

2009-10-31T15:21:00.000-07:00

This weekend we're having the nursery painted!

Before being a prospective nursery, this room was used as an office and then a spare room. The walls (old house = horsehair plaster) were in terrible shape, and the colour a very 'sexy', but totally not nursery friendly brown.

I called on a young man, Brenden, who is spending the weekend patching and painting the room. Tomorrow I'll hopefully be able to update you and show you the new nursery!

Please use this as evidence if I should die on 01/01/2010

2009-10-29T12:13:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year when we have to select our medical and life benefits.

Much like many people, we're given a chunk of credits that we can apply to different benefits. This usually means that someone like me (blind, British, scared of the doctor) may apply more credits to vision and dental coverage, less to medical coverage. I don't need to add our child to my plans just yet, apparently having a baby is counted as a 'qualifying event', and means that I can change my stuff when the 'event', 'occurs'.

I'm usually fairly frugal with my credits. Credits that remain can be converted to cash, which is added to your paycheck. The bare minimums usually work for me, enough coverage to be legal, not quite enough to be healthy.

This year is different.

This year I've given myself a half decent medical plan. I've gone with the premium vision plan, purely so that I don't have to clean my glasses on the scrubs of the delivering doctor before taking my first look at our son. I've even gone with a good dental plan, and might even go to one of those tooth doctors. I saved though, the biggest splurge for last.

I usually go with the minimum 1x salary for life insurance. I don't like to spend my money on life insurance, because I will never benefit.

Next year though, things change. So I turned the dial to 11. The max that I could get, I'm worth $200,000 dead. Alise is the sole beneficiary.

Shake it Baby, Shake it

2009-10-28T13:02:00.001-07:00

It's possible.

It's very possible.

It's possible that Alise has felt the baby move, and maybe kick.

Right now we are on 'kick alert'. Alise called me this morning to tell me that she thought she'd felt the little chap move his feet. It's difficult to say for sure, there's a lot 'going on in there'; but this was a feeling that she's never felt before.

So we'll be very quiet the next few days, hoping for a repeat. If a kick is confirmed, then I'll be painting a ping pong ball to look like a soccer (football) ball, and making Alise swallow it. Just to give the boy some early practice.

References on Request

2009-10-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

It was quite a day yesterday, my apologies for not posting. We've got a lot to talk about though, so stay posted.

I work for a company that is contracted to the State of Massachusetts, and as such am considered, for budgeting purposes, a State employee. Under normal circumstances this is a pretty good thing, the benefits are usually good, the jobs usually safe, the coffee usually of a pretty good standard.

These are not normal circumstances.

Like much of the country, indeed the world; the State of Massachusetts is low on money. $140 million has been slashed from the budget, cuts are being made.

It's for that reason that 9 of my colleagues walked out of the door yesterday, never to return. Among them some good friends, who I hope to keep in touch with but who I'll miss day to day. More layoffs are expected, and as I was the last in, I'm hoping to hell that I won't be among those out but I'm also preparing myself for the worst.

It's led to quite the atmosphere here. It almost feels like we're on one of those game shows where people are eliminated each week until a solitary winner remains. 'Who Wants to Keep Their Job!' is what I'm calling it, and I think I'll pitch the idea to the television people when I next see them. I kid, of course. Cutbacks are a necessary evil sometimes, it's just unfortunate for all that the economy is in the state that it is.

In other news though, happy awesome news; something wonderful happened this morning. Join us next week to find out what! (aw, just kidding, I'll write later on today).

Beggars 'R' Us

2009-10-26T12:43:00.001-07:00

We went to Babies'R'us on Saturday, to start the registry for the baay-bee.

Sure, it was kind of fun to be given a gun and told to roam free among the store, scanning shit onto our list; but it was also a little depressing. We already knew this before; but babies need a lot of stuff!

We scanned a total of 11 things. We will need to go back. Often. There are many things, many whole sections of the store that we missed.

If anyone is interested in viewing our list, go to www.babiesrus.com and find the registry tab at the top, and search under 'brann' for last name of registrant, or crossland for co-registrant. We will let you know when we've finished the list, by which time the boy will probably be working there himself. It seriously could take that long!

Video Diary - Echo Bridge

2009-10-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

Fall is here! Finally! The leaves are golden, the air cold and fresh without being frigid and filled with snow.

We took Coco for a walk in the woods earlier, to a place called 'Echo Bridge'. Hopefully the video will show why it's called that!

Blitzkrieg

2009-10-23T07:27:00.001-07:00

For the last couple of days, Alise and I have been virtual mirror images of ourselves. We both sit, looking tired, with our hands stroking our stomachs.

For Alise, of course, this is all perfectly natural, healthy, and sweet. She's holding our child protectively, like the wonderful mother that she already is. She's getting used to this new growth, and getting to know her new body. Aaww… so sweet.

For me its because a war of attrition has broken out in my bowels.

After an initial night-time raid, the ars-is of evil struck a blow against the colon-ition. It was an intestine battle, during which the Turds were expelled from the Holey land.

Ok, I'll stop there. Sorry.

Of course, because I'm male, whenever I'm sick I'm 'dying'. Pretty soon I'll be fighting fit though, and ready to eat Indian food once more. To victory!

It's a small, small world

2009-10-21T11:14:00.001-07:00

I think one of the strangest things for me about this day and age, is how small the world sometimes seems.

Today I read a story on the BBC website, so published in London, about a terror suspect that had been arrested in Massachusetts. And this was how I first found out about it.

Nevermind that I actually live in Massachusetts; I hear about where I live via the country that I left.

When I was growing up, America seemed like a lifetime away. I had always been very interested in the country, and it was always #1 on my personal 'I want to go there' list. Now I'm living here and I call it home; and understandably I guess the appeal has waned. Now I think that China or Japan are terribly interesting and deserving of my presence, and hopefully we'll be able to visit at some point.

Our child will think nothing of traveling long distances. As things stand, he's 3000 miles away from each of his grandmothers, one being to his east and one to his south-west. One of his uncles is currently about 3000 miles west, his closest grandparent a three hour car ride north.

A lot depends on whether we decide to stay where we are or to move closer to relatives, but it's likely that our boy will grow up with different ideas about family than we did. I truly hope that he will be as close to as many of them as possible, and hope that he won't miss out on anything just because his dad moved to America.

Farewell old friend...

2009-10-20T13:32:00.001-07:00

Alise and I said goodbye to a dear old friend today.

Alise has had a belly button ring for about 10 years now. Its always
been there, a constant in an ever changing world. As the belly has
grown though, its become clear that this ring, this symbol of youth
and wild abandon, has to go.

We will miss you, old buddy. Thanks for the memories!

--
Sent from my mobile device

When I was young, we only had 3 channels!

2009-10-19T10:01:00.001-07:00

I read two separate articles the other day.

The first was about some new kind of battery technology, that if successful will create batteries that, though just the size of a penny, could provide energy to power a device for 10 years. Without being recharged. Imagine the possibilities? Cars could be clean and need no gas, laptops could be used in the third world, and my phone won't need to be plugged in every night.

The second was about some mad scientist bloke who is developing a procedure that can slow the functions of the body to a basic crawl, allowing the critically ill to get medical care before it's too late. It's as if they are put into a suspended state. All very cool.

All of this is very exciting. Of course, I wasn't born in the dark ages but the level of advancement over the past few years has been quite astonishing.

Which led me to ponder… what will this earth be like when our son is our age?

What will the life expectancy be? What will transport be like? Television? We had a colour TV, but only with 3 channels and no remote control or method of recording. We had one computer at school, but it was very basic by today's standards and each child had about an hour a month on it. Alise and I, between us, have (I think) seven things that can get onto the internet. Will this be considered laughable in the future?

It's exciting to think of being a parent, but almost more exciting to think of the advances that will occur during his lifetime.

Video Diary Time!!

2009-10-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

Fall, you tardy bastard

2009-10-16T06:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Autumn,

WTF man?? What happened to you this year? Are you okay? Sick? H1N1???

We wish you'd told us. We had everything ready for you. We were going to pick apples and carve pumpkins and kick piles of leaves into the air. I had jackets for us all to wear too! Usually you show up and I can wear them for a few weeks and feel comfortable. But no. Apparently you're just TOOOO important and decided to bail on us.

Old man Winter, despite his age and arthritic knees, was EARLY. This should shame you. He actually made it snow this morning.

There's still time for you to make an appearance… just please be quick. Halloween just isn't the same without you.

Coldest regards,

New England.

The Strangest Thing...

2009-10-15T18:25:00.000-07:00

The attached photo was obtained at the ultrasound.

It's one of those 3D type thingys, I'm not sure what the technology behind it is but it's one of the strangest ultrasound images I've ever seen. It shows our baby boy's face, and it's kind of creepy and kind of cute. Make of it what you will!

Song Time for Baby

2009-10-14T05:52:00.001-07:00

When you were in, the ultra, sound,

I asked the doctor, what will you be,

'will it have bollocks, will it have none',

Here's what she said, to me…

It's a boy, a boy…..

That's quite enough of that nonsense.

So! We're having a boy. The ultrasound yesterday was quite an experience, really. While we didn't really get to see much of the whole of the child (not sure why, maybe he's too big to get onto the tv screen at once now?), they were able to do a 3D type photo of his face. I'll post that here when its scanned in.

It is quite a bizarre photo, and he looks kind of half alien/half child. The more that I look at it though, the cuter he gets. I think he's going to be a little heart breaker when he's older and less critically under-developed.

The strangest part, most certainly, was seeing that he was sucking his thumb. Even at just 18 weeks; this being, this child of mine was lying back, enjoying life, and sucking his thumb like his dad did until he was about… oohhh… 17.

And The Weiner Is...

2009-10-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

For months now, I've been convinced that our child is a boy.

That's not to say that I'd necessarily prefer a boy, I've just had a feeling. Admittedly it was a 50/50 shot, but I was pretty convinced.

Today we had the ultrasound. While in there I asked the question, Rolf Harris style (British/Australian reference). 'Can you tell what it is yet?'

The radiologist checked with Alise to be sure that she wanted to know. Purely with the motive of proving me wrong, she did want to know.

'It's a boy' she said. I danced a little.

I would have been perfectly happy with a girl, of course. But, it's a boy!!

Ultrasound day

2009-10-13T11:59:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this from the hospital, on my phone. Please excuse any
spelling errors.

We just had an ultrasound, and are waiting to see the doctor. Or
nurse. Or doctors assistant. Or something. Anyway, someone with much
more knowledge than I will be seeing us shortly.

The ultrasound did go well, and all appears to be in order. When the
time is right, we will announce the sex of the child, because we now
do know!

--
Sent from my mobile device

A Momentous Happening!

2009-10-12T07:45:00.001-07:00

Something of great importance happened on Friday evening.

Alise and I, happy with our bulk cooking/freezing extravaganza, decided to splurge and go out to dinner. We settled, after some discussion, on a Chinese restaurant that's close to where Alise used to work. Called the 'Ginger Root', located in the Italian section of Newton, it's not much to look at from either side of the windows but it serves good Chinese food at a reasonable price with great service. And the mango chicken really is to die for.

After gorging ourselves, we both reclined and adopted the 'hands on belly' pose. When the waitress bought the check, she gave a shriek. 'You're pregnant!' she gasped.

This, ladies and gents, was the very first time that someone who doesn't know that Alise is pregnant has said that she is. It's official, she's looking like someone who's pregnant.

I did have to take a moment to make sure that she was talking to Alise, and not to me. While Alise is displaying a belly that's consistent with a 4 month old growth, so too am I.

It is, apparently, a common phenomenon. The daddy also eats for two, and puts on some weight. Last night I took a bath and was alarmed to find that rolls of fat were creeping up my torso, almost restricting my movement. I've added a few pounds, and I'm getting chunky.

While its never a bad idea to add some insulation as winter approaches (and it seems to have taken an express train, the morning walk was not pleasant today); I've never put on weight or bulk as quickly in my life. I'm eating well, but heartily, and at the current rate will be a bit of a bloater by the time the baby is born.

So; I'm going on a bit of a diet. I'm going to fight the flab and reduce my carby footprint. No more bacon shall pass my lips!

God I'm a terrible liar…

Bring Me My Grapes!

2009-10-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Alise and I were talking about her symptoms, or lack thereof, the other day.

It is, of course, a good thing that she hasn't suffered from morning sickness. Some women can suffer terribly, which isn't a good thing when nutrition and hydration is so important. The other 'Hollywood friendly' symptom that's been largely lacking has been for food cravings.

It was always central to my image of 'expectant father' that the man be seen driving all around town at 3am to locate the specific brand and flavor of ice-cream that his partner desired. I've always heard stories of women craving the strangest concoctions, mixing ingredients with wild abandon and barking almost impossible orders, Emperor style. 'Bring me freshly picked oranges! And then liquefy them with Gouda. And do it now!'.

Alise hasn't asked this. She hasn't really asked anything close. When she needs to eat she NEEDS TO EAT RIGHT NOW! – but she's basically been eating the same things that she ate before.

So, I kind of feel like I've been missing out. It feels like I've missed out on a rite of passage. This way is preferable to scouring the 24 hour stores for blueberry jam, but still… I've been largely redundant throughout all of this.

One symptom, of course, that's hit particularly hard in the last week or so has been lack of sleep, coupled with back aches. We'll touch on that one shortly.

Water Water Everywhere...

2009-10-08T10:37:00.001-07:00

This morning I woke up fairly late and scurried to get ready for work. My morning routine on days like these involves dressing largely in the dark so as not to wake Alise any more than I already have, throwing some food down Coco's throat, letting her outside so that she can water and fertilize the lawn, swishing some mouthwash, grabbing some lunch out of the fridge (if available) and scooting out of the door to walk the 15 minutes to the train station.

This morning, as I walked, I noticed that one of the temporary water pipes that's been set up in the neighborhood had sprung a leak, and was sending a torrent of water into the street. I avoided getting splashed by cars and got to my train.

When I checked emails on my phone, I saw a flood (pun intended) of emails from the neighbors, complaining of a loss of water pressure. I communicated to then (via the neighborhood email chain thingy) my findings, relaying that it was probably the cause of said loss of pressure.

Emails erupted. Everyone complaining, and reporting their loss of water. I remember thinking to myself 'jesus! Calm down people! It's only water!'

Of course, in a few months it'll be different. Alise and I can perfectly take care of ourselves whether we have no water, no electricity, or even (gasp) no internet. Soon though we'll depend on these things, we'll need all of the creature comforts of home to be uninterrupted. We'll rely on people and things. Whereas now we often say 'you and me against the world', we'll soon need the world more than ever.

MIND THE GAP!!

2009-10-07T11:50:00.000-07:00

It was probably only about 6 weeks or even a month ago that Alise and I were in a Gap Maternity store.

At that point, she had put on a little weight, and had a little bit of a tummy. She really didn't look pregnant though, more like she'd eaten quite a bit recently and hadn't exercised. Her clothes were getting a little tight though, and we'd begun to shop for maternity clothes.

While there, and while she was trying on her clothes, Alise found a 'fake belly' in the changing room. Basically a bump with Velcro strapping, she was able to see for herself how she'd look with a baby belly, and therefore how the clothes would fit.

At the time, if I'm honest, it kind of scared me to see her with this fake belly. Hypothetically I know that a real belly would soon come, but to see an artist impression of Alise in the future had put me on edge. And this was only 6 weeks ago, if that.

Within the space of this 6 weeks (or less. On reflection; I think it's more like a month) Alise has certainly grown. She went from 'might have had a few too many cheeseburgers' to 'I should probably give my seat up to that girl but I don't know for sure if she's pregnant so I might offend her if she's just a bit heavy' to 'baby on board'. Obviously she's going to get a lot bigger before she gets smaller, but she's certainly well on the way.

And am I scared? Do you know what? I'm actually not. Alise looks wonderful. She's glowing, she looks healthy, and she's as cute as a button. These are good times.

Time Flies When You're Having Unplanned Pregnancies...

2009-10-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I like to play a game.

Actually, I should rephrase that statement. At pretty much every stage of my existence I'm playing some kind of game. 'What stop will he get off the train', is one. 'How many people will call in sick today', another. You may think I'm childish, but it helps to pass the day and it's all good practice for when the child arrives. I've actually considered that I'll think of this thing as less a child than a really late little brother or sister; which I'm sure is going to put Alise into a great position.

Anyway. This game I'm talking about.

Starting from the front page of the BBC website, I allow myself 5 clicks and have to end up at the story that was published furthest back in time. Because the BBC website has only been around since 1998 or so, and because the links to stories are related to current affairs, ending up in the early 2000's is a great achievement. The other day I broke my all time record (securing the Gold medal in the process), when I landed, on click 5, at this gem published in 1999.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/432463.stm

I then sat, my jaw dropping evermore, and read the story.

Firstly, this is batshit insane. A grandmother at 26?? I'm 31 and consider myself pretty young and I'm worrying about my readiness for parenthood. If I were this lady I could be a grandparent of a 5 year old! Crazy.

I then, soon afterwards, got an email from an old friend, Catrin, who reminded me that 10 years ago I started work at the same company that she currently works at. This shook me. (I should point out that when I say 'Old Friend', I mean that I've known Catrin for 10 years. Not that she's old. Though in fairness, she is 10 years older now than when I first met her).

I guess time really does fly. A lot has happened since I first showed up for my first 'real job' in an ill fitting suit and with a leatherette briefcase, but it really doesn't seem like it was 10 years ago. In 10 years I'll be in my 40's. In another 10 my child will be either at college or... well who knows where s/he'll be. If their life is anything like the people in the article, I could be a grandfather in a little under 13 years. Now there's something to scare the bejesus out of me.

We're running out of space...

2009-10-05T12:55:00.001-07:00

One of the better pieces of advice that I've had in the last few weeks was this:

'Practice bending over now. You'll be doing it a lot when you've got a child'

Sound advice.

Alise and I both have issues with our backs. I have graduated from feeling a twinge in my back every now and then to now always saying 'oouuch' whenever I bend at a greater than 90 degree angle. Often I wake in terrible pain, and many of my older t-shirts now stink of Ben-Gay. For those of you that are not American, Ben-Gay is a menthol rub product, and not what your perverted minds are thinking it is.

To try to help ourselves, we've been talking about buying a new mattress. Many people with back complaints consider a good mattress the best purchase that they make, and no doubt we'd feel the same way. Since, however, we're a pair of cheap bastards; we've been exploring more frugal alternatives.

The first thing that we're trying is a mattress pad. This thing that we bought from Target is the consistency of a heavy comforter and sits on top of the mattress, below the ground sheet. We put it on last night and it transformed our bed from 'fairly normal bed' to 'most comfortable bed in the world'. Time will tell what effect this will have on our spines, but I'm not going to let this thing go without a fight.

This though, isn't the only difference to our sleeping. Alise is having to sleep on her side these days, for that's what's recommended. To aid this, last week we bought a body pillow. A big, long, soft, green thing that's now sharing the bed with Alise, myself, and our four cats who have decided to bury their individual differences for the sakes of somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep.

Things are getting a little crowded.

We don't have the largest bed in the world. It's a queen size, and on an average night contains 4 pillows, 1 super large pillow, 7 heartbeats and some crumbs. If this truly is the calm before the storm (which I'm in no doubt, it is), then it's going to be one hell of a storm.

Video Diary Time!!

2009-10-04T15:58:00.001-07:00

I know, I know... It's been a while! But fear not, here is the latest video diary.

Small thing to note though, this wasn't actually going to be a video diary. It was supposed to be a photo. Since the camera was set to 'video' mode though, I made the snap decision to do it live, and shoot where we were. This explains both the hesitation at the beginning of the video, and also the fact that it was taken 'portrait' style as opposed to 'landscape'. You'll either have to tilt your head or turn your monitor on one end. You'll cope.

And dinner will be served at 4pm...

2009-10-02T11:39:00.001-07:00

Alise and I were discussing our 'what to do's this weekend' earlier.

Last weekend we went to the football (soccer) game at Gillette stadium, home of the New England Revolution and the New England Patriots. They've built quite the complex there, with stores, restaurants and a Showcase cinema. Last weekend we went to 'Five Guys' for a burger before the game, and found it to be (in my humble opinion, at least) the best burger joint on the face of the Earth.

We've decided that this weekend we'll go to see a movie at the Showcase, having lunch at Five Guys before we go. Quite seriously we decided to go to an afternoon screening, because when we go to the movies in the evenings we get tired and feel like falling asleep.

Now, Alise has an excuse for this. She's pregnant! What's my excuse?

My hair gets grayer with every passing month. I get tired easily, and my back hurts. I'm old even before someone as yet unborn has the ability to say 'Gawd Dad! You're SOO old!'.

I'm wondering what effect this baby will have on me and my energy levels. On one hand I think that it'll whip me into shape. That I'll be so busy that I'll have no time to be tired. On the other…

It scares me to even think what shape I'll be in, in a year from now.

She's Going to be a Baby Doggy

2009-10-01T05:28:00.000-07:00

I mentioned Coco yesterday, and her magnificent efforts to save us all money by heating the house solely through the heat of her farts. She hasn't yet realized that we outdo her efforts by opening the windows to allow the smell, and the heat to escape, but she is trying and we appreciate this.

There has been another noticeable difference in Coco's behavior, over the last few weeks.

I've told you about Coco before, but let me recap. Coco is a gorgeous, very large, lovable and quite goofy nine year old Chocolate Lab. She's an English Lab, so has larger ears and a more pronounced nose that your typical lab, which just adds to her beauty. She's the kind of dog that people slow down to gawk at, and children love her. We were walking her the other day down our street when a child being held by its father came the other way. This little girl (must have been maybe a year old) gave a shriek and pointed at Coco, her legs waving in a gesture of sheer joy, matched only by the smile on her face and also by the tail wag of Coco.

Coco is great with kids. When around adults, especially tall, adult males she will horseplay like the horse that she is. She'll rush into people, jump up at them, try to lick the tops of their head, and generally be a big and unruly goofball. When faced with small kids though, she'll calm down and allow them to pet her, she'll make less violent movements, and she'll let them do anything to her. She's wonderful, and I'm quite sure that she'll be wonderful with our child.

There is something though, I think, that she's already started to do. I think that she's started to become ultra protective of Alise.

If Coco is allowed into our bedroom and onto the bed, she'll quite gently but quite deliberately crawl to Alise and lay her head onto her stomach. She'll be calmer than she used to be. I've noticed this as a subtle change recently, and I think it'll become more pronounced as the weeks pass. In addition, last night she heard someone outside our house. Before she would have let out a short 'gruff' sound. Last night she howled, loudly, and then barked. Very rare for Coco, but I think indicative of her probably very innate transition to protector and guardian of Alise.

Coco, if you're reading this (and I know you do all sorts of things while we're at work so I'm not putting it past you), thank you. You've been an awesome companion for the last few years and I'm looking forward to introducing you to your little brother or sister to you. They'll have a long way to go to beat you.

What's in a name?

2009-09-30T12:39:00.001-07:00

If Shakespeare is to be believed, the name of anything bears no impact upon the beauty of that thing. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Surely by default this would mean that Coco's farts, if called 'buttercups', would still smell horrific and would still mean that we'd have to have all of the windows in the house open, even as the weather cools.

Of course, they would. Coco has no knowledge of the word 'fart' and therefore cannot influence their regularity or potency just because Alise and I call out 'OHMYGODCOCOFARTEDBAD!' to each other. By the same token, if our child is given the name 'Buttface', 'Poopstain', 'Smeghead' or 'Margaret', it will still be as cute as a button, despite its unfortunate moniker.

So why are we stressing so much about baby names?

Because, it's the single most important decision that we can make for this child, that's why.

Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But maybe not. I attach great significance to the names of people, and form opinions in my mind before I meet them in person if I know their name. I have often thought to myself 'he's nice, but I don't think he's a proper 'Dave'', which is a very strange thing to think.

So we're going to discuss this name business, quite probably until the moment of birth. We have a few that we like, but we've decided not to share. We're like great artists, we only want you to see it when it's finished and signed.

Let's talk about sex, baby

2009-09-29T07:13:00.001-07:00

Both of us, individually, have each held the following opinions.

1) 'we shouldn't find out the sex of the child, let's keep it as a surprise!'

Or;

2) 'lets find out! It'll make things much easier! Plus, we're really impatient!'

We've also both discussed this, at length. I suppose it could be possible that one of us knows and the other doesn't, but how long do you suppose that would last?

We both really don't care if this child is male or female. There are pro's and con's to both; Alise loves the little dresses that girls can wear (though she is fast becoming a fan of boys clothes too), while I would probably prefer to play with toy cars and trucks than Barbies. We could, of course, have a boy who plays with dolls or a girl who plays with cars and that would be totally fine with us (especially if the girl graduates to play with bigger cars and can perform a tune up and oil change in the driveway), but I'm working on what's more likely here. I will play soccer with either sex and the child will be a Nottingham Forest fan (the poor soul), so its not like we have different plans for raising the kid if born a boy or a girl.

But, there are things that we can decide on beforehand if we know what we're getting. A name, for one. Baby clothes could be bought in confidence before birth.

Neither of us are big fans of 'blue for boys and pink for girls', though. The nursery will be painted in a gender neutral color, a yellow or green perhaps.

Still, we think that we will ask to know the sex of the child as soon as possible. We'll be able to settle on a name, we'll be able to plan a little better, and we'll stop referring to the growth within Alise as 'it'.

Which then leads to the next question. Do we tell our friends and family what we're getting? I kind of think it might be awesome to keep it a secret; something Alise and I could share. It would also mean that baby shower gifts are more gender neutral.

Hhmmm…. Things to ponder…

Baby is SO needy...

2009-09-28T07:35:00.001-07:00

Alise and I went to a consignment sale this weekend.

It was basically a few yard sales in one. There was furniture, toys, clothes for both baby and mommy and other 'things'. While we were able to pick up a few bargains, it also bought home something to me.

Babies need a lot of stuff!

Obviously, baby needs to be dressed, especially if it's going to go outside. It needs something to catch its number ones and twos, it needs something to be wiped with. It needs food, and if breast milk is its food then we will need something to extract the milk and store it for those times when Alise's 'kitchen' is closed. It'll need somewhere to sleep and somewhere to sit. It'll need toys and it'll need a car seat. It'll need a stroller, it'll need… a whole lot of stuff.

I was a little overwhelmed at this place. The fact that 'baby will need stuff' wasn't a foreign concept to me before, but being there really bought it home to me.

I think that part of the problem is that, while Alise is now showing (photos will be shown, I promise), and even though we've seen an ultrasound; it's still kind of a hypothetical concept. Honestly, I think that we'll both be able to better analyze and consider this 'thing' as a person when we find out the sex, and when we decide on a name.

Both of these, things that I'll talk about in the next couple of days!

Self Promotion

2009-09-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Alise and I had a lovely day yesterday. We went to a consignment sale of baby and maternity things, and got some great bargains. We then came home, relaxed, did some laundry, before going to a soccer game between the New England Revolution and Seattle Sounders. We even got to go onto the pitch before the game, which was really cool. Photos and more stories to follow!

Here's the self promotion part... I've started another blog where I'll be posting one chapter a week of a new book, 'Big Brother Joe'. Hopefully it'll make me rich and famous! Or it'll just be something that I'm proud of and will look back on with pride.

Follow it here...

http://bigbrotherdiary.blogspot.com/

Oooh-terus

2009-09-23T12:22:00.001-07:00

For the last few months, this whole 'baby thing' has been quite fun, really. As I've discussed in detail, Alise has had to pee quite a bit, has had some (but not many) food cravings, and her boobs have grown. Apart from that though… all has been pretty quiet. There's been few constant reminders to me, that she, is preggers.

All of this has changed, literally in the last week. Whereas before Alise looked like she'd possibly had a few too many cheeseburgers, she now looks decidedly pregnant. Her belly has grown; she's 'popped'.

As Alise pops her belly, Jeremy poops his pants.

Seeing Alise now so obviously 'with child' has kind of scared me. I knew it was coming, but it still came as quite a shock to me and I'm struggling to reconcile it in my teeny little head. I suppose it's like a lot of things. I've known that people are dying but it didn't sink in until I saw them in hospital. I've known that winter is coming but it won't hit me until I see frost on the car windows and snow on the ground. I work so much with visuals (surprisingly, since I'm so blind) that even the mental knowledge of an event means little until I see evidence with my own four eyes.

I know I'll be okay, I know I'll adjust to this and be fine. Mentally, I know this. I've yet to see it with my own eyes though…

That was Summer??

2009-09-22T05:02:00.001-07:00

Fall has officially come to New England.

Leaves are changing, Halloween decorations are up at all the stores, apples are in season and Alise is already contemplating painting her stomach to look like a jack o' lantern... What does all this mean? Well, in almost exactly a month, we'll be celebrating our 2nd anniversary and Alise may be just beginning to feel the little flutters as our baby moves around.

At that point, we'll be rapidly approaching the halfway point in the pregnancy and things will be even more 'real' than they have been... Seasons change quickly in New England. One day you're blowing off errands to go to Water Country, and before you know it, you're shoveling 4 feet of snow out from around your car at 7 am trying to get to work. It makes us realize how quickly this baby is going to be coming into our lives, even though we often feel like the process takes forever.

The leaves are just starting to change, but autumn comes and goes quickly. Soon the trees will be bare, Thanksgiving will be over, and we'll be getting ready for a visit from Alise's sister at Christmastime. Though it seems like only yesterday we found out about the pregnancy, it's already been nearly 4 months. Before we know it, we'll be bringing this whole new person into our lives. And probably not blowing off errands for water parks for a while...

The 'real man' rubs it in...

2009-09-21T11:16:00.001-07:00

You may recall my mentioning Alise's brother and his status (in my eyes at least) as 'a real man'.

Well... He's only gone and got himself onto the front page of the local newspaper! Go on... read all about it.. http://www.theolympian.com/672/story/977386.html?storylink=omni_popular

Baby Daddy has a new job!

2009-09-17T07:24:00.001-07:00

We hope. The place that I've been contractually working for (I.E. paid by the hour with no benefits) wants to take me on full time. Go me!

To celebrate this, Alise and I headed to the only Sonic restaurant in Massachusetts. I always see their commercials, but until recently the nearest Sonic was in Ohio; which is a fair drive. The new one opened recently and is a mere 40 minutes away, a short hop for fast food.

Alas, like any half decent in Massachusetts, this place is very popular. You know, we went to a new Chinese restaurant a few weeks ago and the wait was 2 hours. 2 hours!! For food! Really?

We're not patient people. We didn't wait for 2 hours at the Chinese, we didn't wait in line at Sonic.

We ended up, late and cranky, at Friendly's. We were not satisfied, we were not well nourished, we were not in a celebratory mood.

No matter, all is going well for these two soon to be parents. Still no real symptoms, still feeling like it's all kind of hypothetical. Oh how our lives will soon be thrown into panic.

We love the new chest!

2009-09-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

It's okay, don't worry... this time I'm not talking about Alise's boobs...

Last Friday we decided to buy a new chest freezer. We have an old, stand up, fridge below/freezer on top thingy which while functional, doesn't allow us to keep too many things in a state of frozen. We went to Sears and picked out a nice small chest freezer (one that would be fairly cheap to run, wouldn't take up too much space in the kitchen, and which would fit in the back of Alise's car), and adopted the 'hey salesman, we want to buy something' pose.

Soon a kindly gentleman came over and talked us through our purchase. We spent a good while talking with him, comparing the freezer to other models, before settling on our choice. We wanted the freezer.

Turns out he didn't actually work there, he was just a nice old man who liked talking to people. No matter.

We eventually found someone and bought the appliance. Got it home, plugged it in, and spent the rest of the weekend filling it.

You see, Alise is currently nesting. A combination of the pregnancy and the approach of winter has turned her into a 5'7" squirrel. We cooked up pasta sauce, we made lasagna. We bought a 'shit ton' of bread rolls and froze them too. We cleaned the pantry of 'old crap' and filled it with 'new crap'; we're ready for an apocalypse.

Really? More Video?

2009-09-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

Yes really! And this is a special, 'filmed by Alise' video...

Video Diary Extravaganza!

2009-09-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough week for followers of the baby daddy. Updates have been few and far between, explanations poor. Here's my way of making it up to you... a video diary overload from last weekend at the cabin!

First, we have Alise and I on the water... enjoy!

Ultra-ULTRA!-Sound

2009-09-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

This ultrasound came as quite a shock to both of us...

The last one was very cool, don't get me wrong. We saw a blob, saw a heart beating, didn't really see much of anything else.

This time we went into the room like we were old pro's, thinking that we knew what we'd see. We left the room slightly giddy, after seeing a head, legs, arms, fingers, even possibly a nose. We also heard the heartbeat.

Amazing stuff, really. We got some photos, some of which I have crudely photographed myself and attached above. Apologies for the quality.

So Many Stories!!

2009-09-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

Thankfully, we have a lot of time to talk about them...

Welcome back everyone! I hope you all had a lovely long weekend, whatever you did.

Alise, Coco (hereafter named 'The Burping Fart Monster') and I had a lovely weekend at a VERY remote cabin, on a lake, in northern Maine.

There will be STORIES!
There will be VIDEOS!
There will be PHOTOS!

And if that wasn't enough to salivate you on this Tuesday, we also had our second ultrasound this morning!!

Stay tuned everyone, things are getting exciting!

My Bad...

2009-09-02T10:09:00.001-07:00

You're all totally correct, there haven't been many updates to the blog recently.

In all honesty, things are rolling along perfectly normally, but surprisingly we are still short of pregnancy symptoms. Rather than being relieved about this, it's really been a little disconcerting. There should be more to report, right??

Alise has been slowly but steadily putting on weight, and in my opinion is possibly starting to show. In her opinion she's getting 'fat', which is perfectly understandable but also something that I have to argue about with her. To me she's glowing, beautiful and divine; and far from fat. To her she's unable to comfortably fit into her pants and has a spare tire.

It can't be easy, naturally putting on weight at a fairly high rate. It can't be easy at all.

The 'frequent trips to the bathroom' symptom continues, but is now feeling like a 'normal' part of life. We plan for it, we know that its coming. Easy for me to say of course, its not me that is waking every night to go potty, but Alise seems to have accepted it and would probably be most put out if she slept through without going.

Tiredness is still an issue, but with the lives that we all lead, can be attributed to pretty much everyone. Tell someone at work that you're tired, and most will say that they are too.

Apart from that though? We pretty much carry on with life! I'm sure that things will pick up now that we are in the second trimester, and that there will be plenty more to report to you all.

A celebration...

2009-08-31T18:49:00.001-07:00

Is it the beginning of the second trimester, or the fact that Coco the
dog just farted? Actually its both! I shall explain more in the
morning...

Child of mine, I took your mommy to the fanciest restaurants...

2009-08-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

While yesterday was really the day that we celebrated Alise's birthday, today is the actual anniversary of her birth.

Yesterday, despite the rains, we had a lovely day. Today was always going to be a little bit of a letdown in comparison; and so it really proved. We were both up early (again) because Coco (again) thought that we should be awake and serving breakfast at 6am, and after both showering and dressing we realized that we had a couple of hours to kill before we were to meet friends for breakfast, at noon. We picked up a pretty bad scone, a not so good breakfast sandwich, and the worst cup of coffee that I've ever tasted from the local Starbucks, and went to Target to see what their maternity selection was like.

Now, please... help us out here. Where have all of the maternity clothes in stores gone?? It really seemed that before Alise became preggers we'd always see maternity clothes. Alise would see something, and say 'that looks cute'. I'd look up from my meticulous inspection of a bra to nod agreement, then she'd notice that it was a maternity item. 'Ah well', we'd think. 'At least we know where to go when we're expecting'.

No longer. Where do pregnant women buy their clothes nowadays?

Anyway. We shopped for a little while, met the above mentioned friends for breakfast, decided that we'd try the outlet stores for maternity clothes, recoiled in horror at the lines to get in and amount of people there, then came home in time to serve Coco once more before deciding that we should probably nourish ourselves as well.

Don't ask us how we ended up where we ended up, just don't judge us until you've tried it yourself.

We ate, on Alise's birthday please remember, at the 'Old Country Buffet'. The first time for both of us. For just $12 each we ate all that we wanted (which wasn't too much, as it turned out) and 'enjoyed' a wide variety of meats, vegetables, sides, breads and desserts. It was a surreal experience, but to be honest wasn't actually all that bad. I doubt that we'll become regulars, but it is possible that we'll be back.

We're now home again, both in bed. Alise is on the phone with her mom (hi mom) while I write this. While tomorrow will signal the beginning of the work week, it will also signal the beginning of the second trimester for this little alien of ours. Quite a scary, but beautiful thought.

I don't care what the weatherman says when the weatherman says it's raining...

2009-08-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

Longest title ever? Possibly.

It rained, all day. From the moment that Coco decided that we should wake, until the last second that we were outside, it poured. Rain. HEAVY rain. Not the best birthday weather.

My special secret plan was that this morning we were going to go horseback riding. A very sedate and pregnancy friendly ride, at a ranch/farm about a 20 minute drive from home. This, sadly, did not and could not happen.

The second part of my plan did proceed as planned. I drove Alise to the next town over where she was given a 50 minute pre-natal massage. I had only planned for this to be a one time occurrence, but a combination of Alise's relaxed glow as she exited the massage room and some persuasive sales techniques lead me to purchasing Alise a 6 month membership at the massage place. She will be given hour long massages, once a month, until the birth of the alien. This is the most expensive birthday present I've ever given, but I think it'll be worth it.

The final, and more predictable part of the day was dinner at one of Alise's favorite restaurants. Her chicken was very flavorful and moist, my steak wonderfully cooked and tender.

All in all, no matter whatever the weather, we had a good day.

Happy Birthday Alise... I love you loads!

Oh Danny Boy...

2009-08-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday is Alise's birthday.

We had planned to have a big ol BBQ on Saturday, celebrating both Alise's birthday and also the end of the first trimester. Time has flown since we first found out about the impending alien, and we wanted to celebrate in style.

We looked at the weather forecast earlier this week, and cold winds and showers appeared to be greeting us. Not exactly great grilling weather. We decided to cancel on Wednesday, so I sprung into action like a superhero to make alternative plans for Alise's birthday. I have a whole day on Saturday planned, booked, and partly paid for; she's going to love it!!

Except that part of it is outside. And the weather forecast, thank to tropical storm Danny, is heavy wind and rain. Washout.

So, I don't know what we'll do now. I'm feeling pretty depressed about the whole thing, to be honest. This will be her last birthday before the baby comes, and it'll be instantly forgettable. Damn Danny.

Twitter Stuff

2009-08-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that I haven't 'tweeted' in a while.

I think twitter may be beyond me. I don't love it. I don't really see the need to be telling you what Alise and I do every hour of the day, one synopsis to cover each 24 hour period seems to satisfy your appetites so far. Once we are at 'critical moment' times, when I don't have access to a PC, perhaps I'll 'tweet' more often; but for now it appears that it'll lay dormant, waiting for something awesome and maybe funny.

Of course I am also bitter because I only have 4 followers. Four!

Speaking of bitter and twitter (hey! that rhymed!), one twitter that I do love is this one:

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

This gentleman is my personal hero, and person whom I aspire to be. Some may say I'm already well on my way...

There's nothing we like more than 'nothing'

2009-08-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

Alise and I have been wondering what to do with ourselves on the Labor Day weekend.

Leading so far is the opportunity to spend a couple of days in complete and total isolation, at a cabin in northern Maine. This cabin has not any running water, no electricity, no internet, no inside toilet, no neighbors, no nothing. And to us, this sounds perfect.

Funny really. Humanity has spent thousands of years developing society, convenience, things that make us feel comfortable and things which make our lives easier. We then choose, even pay money; for the opportunity to live without them.

As things stand, I'm not sure if we are going away, my emails today to the owner of the cabin have gone unanswered. If we can't go, we could always stay at home and cut the wires to the electricity and turn off the water. That'll be the same, right?