New Blog!

Greetings blog people!

I've decided that I'm going to do a new blog! You can follow it here http://homealonewithhim.blogspot.com/

Hope you enjoy!

We are so lucky

It's been pretty intense, the last few weeks.

 

Elliott is a joy. He is a pure, total, amazing joy. He's the light of my life and he's beautiful.

 

He really is so well behaved. He cries sometimes, but when he does it is usually for just a few seconds. Once he's been fed, changed, or held he quietens quickly and gives us a goofy, silly smile. Apparently he isn't yet at the age yet where he recognizes us or smiles at us, but he certainly is making that impression. He's very alert, very interested in the world around him, and very sweet. He sleeps well, he's happy when awake, he's bloody perfect.

 

I'll update this blog more frequently (I promise! I promise I will!), and will post photos soon. (Promise!)

It never rains but it pours

Well... we have a lot to catch up on!

Firstly, I'd like to apologize to you all for the delay in posting. Things have been a little crazy over the past few days, as I'm sure you can imagine. Instead of going over everything right now, let's go back and do one day at a time.

First, Monday 15th March, 2010.

We woke up on Monday nervous as all hell and in a panic. It felt a little like the morning of a vacation, all of us rushing around, making sure that we had everything. 'Camera!', someone shouted. 'In the bag! what about spare batteries?' someone replied. We tore around, grabbing random items, stuffing them in bags and trying to deal with the enormity of the day.

Thankfully, Mother Nature had provided us with a distraction. We were on day three of some of the heaviest rain that the area has seen for many a year. Rivers were breaking their banks, roads were flooding, basements around the neighborhood were filling with water and sewage. The news crews were out in force and diversions were set up everywhere. We decided that we should leave early, and give ourselves plenty of time to get to the hospital.

As it happened, we needn't have bothered. We got to the hospital with time to spare and went up to the labor and delivery department. Alise, myself and Hannah (Alise's sister) waited almost patiently until we could go back to be prepped.

We hit a snag here, when we were told that Hannah wouldn't be allowed either in the delivery room or the recovery room, and wouldn't be allowed to see us until around 5pm. This was upsetting to all, but Hannah said she'd wait downstairs in the lobby. She braved the rains and went and got magazines, and took up residence in a comfy chair.

Alise and I were then taken back. Alise was undressed and put into a rather fetching hospital gown, and hooked up to machines to check the vital signs of her and baby. I sat in the corner, breathing deeply and trying not to vomit. Nervous time. Very nervous time.

The C-Section was scheduled for noon. As is typical, an emergency delivery held us up for another hour, which didn't really help our nerves. The woman in the bed next to us came back from her c-section proclaiming 'make way for the cutest baby e-ver!' and then barked loudly about how terrible the procedure was. Again, this didn't help.

Suddenly, a nurse came. 'We're going to take Alise now', she said. 'We'll come back for you in a few minutes'.

I cannot ever recall being so nervous. Suddenly I broke into a cold sweat and started to shake uncontrollably. I paced the floor, holding back tears and vomit. I dry heaved a couple of times. I was not in a good place.

Then they came to get me. They lead me into the operating room like a condemned prisoner. I walked in to see the bottom half of the woman I love with a curtain crossing her torso. Doctors stood over her, waiting for me to take my place. I remember thinking that she looked a little like a magician's beautiful assistant, ready to be cut in half and then put back together again. I then realized that this wasn't far from the truth. They'd also be pulling a rabbit from the hat. Genius.

I sat next to Alise, on the quiet side of the curtain. I decided that I didn't want to watch the show. I took a few deep breaths.

The speed at which they worked shocked me. It felt like they'd only been going for about five minutes before I heard someone saying 'What time?'. Someone else replied '1:56'. The boy had technically been born.

And then he appeared. Held up to us on our side of the curtain. We saw our son for the first time. Our hearts melted.

Once he'd been cleaned up a little and weighed, he was swaddled and handed to me. I held him up to Alise as they put her back together. They finished quickly, and we were wheeled back to the recovery area where the woman with the second cutest baby e-ver was. I asked if Hannah could come up and see us and was given the green light, and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. Baby Elliott was born, he was perfect, he was awesome.

After being released from labor and delivery we were transferred to the maternity ward. Elliott was taken to the nursery for some checks, so I took advantage of the break in action to drive Hannah home, feed Coco, before coming back to the hospital on the train. When I got to the train station, I learned that some of the track had been washed away in the storm and that we were being bussed to Boston. News crews were still there. They interviewed me. I made it onto the evening news.

http://www1.whdh.com/video/player/?clipId=4624155&clipFormat=flv&topVideoCatNo=91535#?autoStart (I'm about a minute in)

Photo Time!

Elliott Andrew Crossland

Baby Elliott Andrew Crossland was born on March 15th, at 1:56pm. He weighed 8 pounds, is 19.75 inches long, and is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I cried, I fell in love, I became a father.

 

Mother and baby are doing great. They are still in the hospital, mainly so that Alise can recover. They will be home on Friday.

 

I'll post photos shortly.

C-Day

Today.... WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!

Oh God, Oh Lord, Oh Fuck!!

While the rest of the state is under flood water, we are going to the hospital to have a baby. In a few short hours this journey will end, a new one will begin. Oh. My. GOD.

F-F-F-F-Five More Days

We had our last ultrasound yesterday. Our last one!! We are now officially into 'super scary' time.

 

The next time that we see this child, he'll be all Avatar on us. He'll be in weird colors, and he'll be in 3D. He'll be babbling in languages that we don't really understand, and he'll be worth billions of dollars.

 

We have a couple more things that we need to do, before Monday. I have an appointment at a local police station at 7am on Saturday (what time??!) to have the car seat checked, and we have to go to the hospital for the pre-op appointment. We're then scheduled to sit around a lot and get nervous, and I've tentatively penciled in a long night of restless sleep on Sunday.

 

Then... he'll be here. Wow. Time has flown.

One Week (pt 2)

It'll be, one week 'til I look at you,

Hold your hand and tell you that I love you,

Pretty soon I'll be holding you,

You're the best thing to happen to me since your mommy...

 

Pass me a burp cloth, the child is coughing,

The bottle of milk's in the kitchen warming,

wiping your butt with no lights on,

Because it's half one,

I hope this diaper is a clean one,

I-hope-you-don't-wake-every-one-within-a-mile-radius-please-don't-take-advantage-of-the-cloth-not-on-your-penis

 

oh holy god you pissed on me while I was changing you,

trying hard not to gag but I can't do,

I'm the kind of guy who screams at cotton wool,

Now I'm covered in your puke, and your poo,

I'm really tired and I'm crying, with you,

I really hope I get some goddam sleep tonight...

 

It'll be, one week 'til I look at you,

Hold your hand and tell you that I love you,

Pretty soon I'll be holding you,

You're the best thing to happen to me since your mommy...

One Week To Go!!

Don't worry everyone... we're still here! Still waiting, still panicking a little.

 

We had quite an eventual week, really. Alise's sister Hannah arrived on Monday and has taken up residence in the spare room. As soon as she arrived, Coco the wonder dog fell ill and we had to rush her to the emergency vet. Again. Poor girl. She's on medications, and seems to be doing well.

 

Now, we're just pretty much waiting. We had a nice weekend and enjoyed the spring weather, I put the car seat in the car (I don't know how he's supposed to reach the steering wheel but I guess he'll be okay), and tidied up a bit. This week we're having our last ultrasound, and will try to relax. And not think too much about next Monday.

Don't Panic!

No seriously, don't panic.

We're still waiting, still getting ready mentally and physically for the baby. There's not a whole lot to say right now, to be honest; and this kind of feels like the calm before the storm. We're going to have a shit-ton of things to talk about very soon, but for now we're still waiting and we are getting more and more impatient.

There are some things that I want to say to someone out there, though. Someone special. Someone who is my son.

Be safe, little guy. Be safe in your little sanctuary. Be safe, and be healthy and do whatever it is that you need to do in these last couple of weeks.

I can't wait to see you, and I can't wait to start to bond with you. Your mom and I have been watching a show called '16 and Pregnant' recently (if you ever get a girl knocked up when she's 16 I'll chop your bollocks off, okay?) and we've both been getting a little emotional watching these babies getting born.

When you come out, you're immediately going to become the most important person in my world. I love your mom to death and I'd do anything for her (except for rubbing her feet). I love your aunts and uncles, I love your grandparents. I love myself, kinda. But when you come out, you'll be something special; something unique.

I'm really fucking scared little buddy, I'm really fucking scared that I'll let you down, that I'll not give you everything that you need, that I'll not be the best father that I can be.

I'm going to give this all I have though. When I leave this world I won't be thinking 'have I been the best office worker that I could be?', I won't be thinking 'did I ever make the most of my mad skillz?', I won't be thinking 'I can turn right on red here, right?' (maybe that'll be the penultimate thing I think), I will be thinking 'was I the best father that I could be?'

That's how I'll judge myself, that's how much you mean to me.

Good luck, little guy. Good luck in this world of increasing danger and political stupidity. There are some brilliant minds on this planet that keep amazing me and which keep advancing our species further. There are also some crazy fuckers who keep being elected to office and who keep reinforcing the crazy. I can't even imagine how this world will look in 30 years, but when you are my age I imagine that things will be pretty different. All that I can say is, enjoy the ride, don't take anything too seriously, and always treat everyone how you want to be treated yourself.

This last piece of advice also applies to when you're a newborn. If you piss on me when I'm changing your diaper......

Above all, please remember that I am not the finished article and neither are you. We will learn this shit together, and we will laugh and cry together. We are both going to evolve, learn, love and fart because it's funny.

We're going to have a blast. Let's do this!

My How You've Grown!

We had another ultrasound this morning. From now on they will be weekly, meaning that Alise and I will both be getting up early and driving into Boston for 7am appointments, every Tuesday until the boy arrives. We'll be so much happier when he's come and we can sleep in! Mmwwhhaaaa!!!

 

The boy is now 6lbs, 10 clicks and is pretty much ready for departure. He's kind of squished in, and the photo doesn't really show much apart from the fact that he seems to have really big lips. It looks like he still has hair, and he's growing well. If things go according to plan he'll be around 8 and a half pounds (13 dollars or so) when he's born.

 

And... still we wait. We really don't have anything else to do right now, but wait. Wait until the day comes when our lives will never be the same again. It's quite surreal, strange and still a little hypothetical. He's coming, he's going to stay for a while, he's going to be awesome, and he's going to change everything.

 

Hurry up little buddy, I want to see you now.

We Shall Never Forget 12/16/1773

 

We had a lovely weekend, on our mini vacation.

 

I have never, ever been offered a free upgrade before; I guess arriving at a hotel with a heavily pregnant lady helps. We got there and checked in, and Alise went off to use the bathroom. While she was absent the gentleman at reception asked us where we were from and where we were going.

 

 'About 15 minutes away, and nowhere' was my response.

 

I told him that we were just staying at the hotel to relax and get away from doing housework for a night, while staying close to the hospital just in case the boy decided to check out.  

 

'Congratulations!' the young man said. 'Allow me to give you a complimentary upgrade to a room with a harbor view'

'How lovely!' I replied. 'I'll get to see where you dumped our tea!'

 

I actually didn't say that. I didn't even think to say that at any time during the weekend. Lost opportunities.

 

Anyway though! We took a walk on a cold beach, we swam in the small but empty pool, we dined happily and we watched the history channel on the tv. Like I always do in hotels. Fun! We really did escape, even if just for a few hours.

Price-Line-Negotiator!

Alise and I are going on a mini vacation this weekend.

 

I've been awfully tired recently, it's what happens to me in February. At this time of the year winter really starts to get on my nerves, and I sink into a bit of a lull. This is pretty common, apparently, many people feel this way at this time.

 

Alise, of course, hasn't been sleeping well and is starting to find simple movements quite difficult. Apparently this is my fault and the fault of 'my' son (as he is always referred to when he's making her uncomfortable). These two things, combined with our failures recently to properly 'relax' (when we're home we always say 'lets relax after we do this') made me spring into action yesterday, and find a mini solution.

 

Alise and I both enjoy staying in a hotel room. There's nothing quite like the comfort of a fresh bed, a big TV, a bathroom just steps away, and room service. There is actually a really nice hotel that's a 5 minute walk from our house, which I considered for this weekend. We both like to swim though, so I decided that I'd just do a Priceline.com search for something in Boston that had a good chance at a pool. I went with the 'name your own price' thing, so we wouldn't know in advance where we'd spend the night, but I selected 4* or higher in the area.

 

For anyone wondering why I chose to take Alise on a mini vacation in the city in which we live, instead of going further afield; I say this. She's 8 months pregnant, I'd like to stay close to her hospital. We don't really care where we are anyway, it's the room and relaxation that's important.

 

So, I settled down in front of Priceline.com to name my own price.

 

I've tried this before, but the feeling never changes. I actually picture William Shat-ner standing behind me, just like on the commercials. Coaching me, teasing me, insulting me.

 

'Median price for a 4* in Boston is $150', I said. 'I'll bid $100'

'Is that the best you can do?' Shat-ner scoffs.

'Okay, $80. $80 is fair, that'll get us something'

'Namby Pamby', he sneers

'FINE! FINE SHAT-NER! FUCK YOU! $60! THERE! $60 BASTARD BUCKS! STICK THAT IN YOUR STARSHIP-FUCKING-ENTERPRISE YOU TALENTLESS WANKER!'

 

To my shock, and the shock of William Shat-ner, it worked. I got us a room in a 4* hotel near to the airport. It has a pool, a fitness center, a beautiful restaurant, and room views of either the city skyline, the harbor, or the airport runway. I'm secretly hoping for a view of the airport runway. I love watching planes take off and land.

 

So hopefully, we'll have a nice relaxing weekend, free from the worries of 'things we should be doing'. I'll take photos, hopefully of planes. 

B.I.G.

I received an email from a reader of this blog yesterday.

 

She told me that her daughter was born 5 weeks ago, and was 10.5 lbs. TEN AND A HALF POUNDS!! That's a big babeh.

 

A friend here at work has a son who has just turned 2, and is 3 feet tall. THREE FEET!! That's a big toddler.

 

All of which is making me wonder if Alise and I severely underestimated the size of our child. We have bought a lot of clothes, ranging in sizes from 'newborn' to 18 months. We are fully aware that babies grow quickly, but now are worrying that he won't even get to wear some of these clothes. If our boy is over 10 pounds when he's born, he'll likely already be too big for the newborn stuff, how upsetting will that be?

 

Thankfully, we do know people who are having boys after us. Clothes will be passed along, possibly still with tags on. When he grows too big for his crib it will convert into a toddler bed and we'll get our money's worth out of that. The changing table will be storage for other things. We'll cope with his growth.

 

But still. Some babies are born big, some grow fast. What's the rush little ones? Do you have any idea how cute some of these clothes are? Don't you even care?

A message from beyond the womb...

 

Dear Alise and Jeremy,

 

As we have previously discussed, I will be arriving for my stay with you guys on Monday, March 15th. I trust that you have everything ready for my arrival, but wanted to remind you of the following.

 

* I will arrive naked. I will not bring any clothes with me. Please ensure that clothes are provided.

* I do not speak your language. I shall make attempts to learn, but this will take some time. Until that point, I shall communicate to you in shrieks and cries. Learn what each mean, it'll benefit us both.

* I will be hungry, often. I prefer homemade food, ifyaknowwhatImean.

* I do not care to fit into your schedules. I will wake when I want to, eat when I desire, and sleep when I am sleepy. Clocks, appointments, and your sanity mean nothing to me.

* Please clean me. And please change me. When you change me, clean me too. When you've just changed me, prepare to change me again. I cannot control what goes on down there and frankly have no desire to learn right now.

* I really like things that rattle. They bring out the ultra-cute animal in me.

* Please arrange for me to be monitored at all times. Even when asleep. Listen to me while I sleep, and watch me when I'm awake. At times, both listen and watch. Worry about me constantly, if you don't mind; and never leave me alone with Coco.

* I have no money. I shall pay you in smiles and possibly giggles. You cannot resell these.

* I shall not stay for long, only around 20 years or so. At this point you will help me to find somewhere else to live, and keep my room open for return visits.

* There better be monkeys in my room.

 

I'm sure that if the above is adhered to, we'll have a smashing time together.

 

With love,

 

Boy.

Video Diary!

The nursery is pretty much done!! To celebrate, a special video diary. Happy Sunday and Valentine's Day everyone!

Happy Long Weekend!

I don't have much to say today, apart from Happy Valentine's Day for Sunday, and happy long weekend for all of those that qualify. We are planning to finish the nursery and put everything together, and hopefully getting some much deserved rest. We're into the final stretch now and this will be the last long weekend before the boy gets here, and we are hoping that we'll make the most of it and have fun, sleep, and enjoy each others company.

'S No Snow

So yesterday I, along with the rest of the people in my building, and along with many workers in Massachusetts, were allowed to go home early so as to avoid getting snarled in the monster snowstorm that was rapidly approaching. Alise heeded the early warnings and worked from home, and we all gathered around computer monitors checking the forecasts. None of us really thought to look out of the window, because we live in the 21st century now and we're way more advanced than that. If we'd thought to look out of the window we'd have seen that it was actually raining; but technology beats reality, and we left at noon.

 

It ended up basically raining all day. Sometimes it snowed, but not significantly. It was a faux storm, and we were allowed home early for nothing.

 

At least this gave me a chance to start putting together the changing table. I've finished the first draft. It currently looks kind of like a drunken crib, and will bear the weight, comfortably, of a paper towel. Nothing more.

 

I'll finish it this weekend. We both have a long weekend, so we're planning on doing laundry, cleaning a bit, finishing up the nursery, and playing Playstation. We'll fit it all in, hopefully.

Snow Day!

Alise and I are both at home, having a snow day. Alise worked from home today, while my office closed at noon because of the impending storm.

Funny thing is, it's now 4pm and there really isn't any snow to speak of! It's currently snowing, but not settling. I'm therefore sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, watching Aston Villa v's Manchester United.

I did start to put together the Ikea changing table a couple of hours ago. I then swore quite a lot, threw down the Ikea key thingy that's supposed to help me, and promised that I'd go back to it and finish it shortly.

I might take a nap first though...

We're Keeping an Eye on You...

We had another ultrasound this morning.

 

Because Alise has Crohn's, and is therefore classified as 'high risk', we've been getting very regular ultrasounds and appointments with her various doctors. I swear that this child has been photographed more often than I have, but it is wonderful to keep knowing that he is developing well and is healthy. According to the OBG/YN, if Alise were to go into labor now they wouldn't even try to stop it with drugs, they'd just get her in for the birth. That's a pretty scary, but also comforting thought.

 

We ended up watching some of the Superbowl on Sunday, cheering fairly halfheartedly for the Saints. I'm really trying to learn this sport so that if our son develops an interest, I'll be able to at least converse with him without him calling me 'lame' to my face. That'll probably happen anyway. But still! I'm trying. While we watched it, we reckoned that with our height, our fairly sporting figures, and our genes; there could be a possibility that he might have the physique to one day play the sport; we built an image of him as Tom Brady, dashing, athletic, strong and draped in supermodels.

 

This morning, driving away from the ultrasound, reality tried to cross the road.

 

A young man, probably about ten years old, hovered on the sidewalk near to a pedestrian crossing. He hesitated a few times, dancing in the road, as he looked at us. I waved him across (since 1, I'm nice like that and 2, IT'S THE LAW). He was carrying what looked like a musical instrument in a black case, and he wore glasses. He looked a little uncomfortable, a little lost, and little like I often do.

 

'That's our future', Alise said. I had no choice but to agree.