What's in a name?

If Shakespeare is to be believed, the name of anything bears no impact upon the beauty of that thing. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Surely by default this would mean that Coco's farts, if called 'buttercups', would still smell horrific and would still mean that we'd have to have all of the windows in the house open, even as the weather cools.

 

Of course, they would. Coco has no knowledge of the word 'fart' and therefore cannot influence their regularity or potency just because Alise and I call out 'OHMYGODCOCOFARTEDBAD!' to each other. By the same token, if our child is given the name 'Buttface', 'Poopstain', 'Smeghead' or 'Margaret', it will still be as cute as a button, despite its unfortunate moniker.

 

So why are we stressing so much about baby names?

 

Because, it's the single most important decision that we can make for this child, that's why.

 

Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But maybe not. I attach great significance to the names of people, and form opinions in my mind before I meet them in person if I know their name. I have often thought to myself 'he's nice, but I don't think he's a proper 'Dave'', which is a very strange thing to think.

 

So we're going to discuss this name business, quite probably until the moment of birth. We have a few that we like, but we've decided not to share. We're like great artists, we only want you to see it when it's finished and signed.