We miss you like crazy

We are both still a little in shock.

Iris was an amazing cat. She was rescued from a hoarder who had approx 50 cats in her basement, and Alise took her knowing full well that she had a number of health issues.

Iris truly adored Alise. She followed her like a dog, and literally thought of her as her mother. The bond that those two had was unlike any that I've seen between human and cat, and was just one of the things that encouraged me to fall in love with Alise. The compassion, unconditional love, and attention to care that she gave to Iris opened my eyes to the warmth and strength of her character. Alise made many sacrifices for Iris, and Iris truly appreciated all that Alise did for her.

We are very thankful for what we have. Coco is a wonderful dog, and we have 3 cats with great personalities. We will soon welcome our beautiful baby boy, and Alise and I will sacrifice and strive to ensure that his life is filled with love and happiness.

We shall never forget Iris, though. Time will heal the wounds, but the lessons that she taught us and the memories that she so often gave us will never fade.

A very sad day

This morning we said goodbye to Iris.

Iris was the most wonderful, loving, crazy, affectionate cat.

She was originally Alise's, but moved in with Random the cat when Alise joined me here. She quickly moved into my heart, and became my favourite. She could be a total pain in the arse at times, but she was awesome and will be most terribly missed by all of us.

Thankfully she wasn't sick for long, but was in pain and we rushed her to the emergency vet. The terrible diagnosis was reached quickly, the only option made with a heavy heart. Iris wasn't to suffer. She deserved nothing less.

I'm going to miss you, little Iris. I'm going to miss you a lot.

Don't go crazy.... Don't go crazy...

There is a lady that I work with (who's permission I have to recount this story to you), who when she gave birth was desperate for a boy. So desperate, in fact, that when the stork delivered a girl, she said 'well hell to that' and dressed her as a boy for the first five years of her life.

This is a little crazy.

Alise and I have been going a little crazy recently, shopping for the boy. We had already bought a few clothes for newborns and 3 month old babies; but this weekend went a touch further.

It all started when we took a trip to the local Carters outlet store. For anyone not familiar with Carters, I say only this. Get familiar with it. The clothes (already reasonably priced) are 50-60% off at their outlets, and if you give them your email address they'll send you coupons for a further 20% discount. They also have a reward card, giving you $10 off when you spend $100. We've been shopping!

So this weekend we started at our local store, and bought about $60 each. With the discounts on offer, this added up to quite a few clothes.

Feeling adventurous, we then took the somewhat crazy decision to drive a good 2 hours to the Freeport, ME outlet stores. Alise remembered that the Baby Gap there had some good deals, and I wanted a new pair of winter boots.

The Baby Gap sucked. I found no new boots. We did find another Carters outlet store.

Approx $160 later, we left Maine clutching large bags filled with clothes. We seriously have enough clothes for the first year of the boys life. We went a little crazy.

And if the boy comes out and is a girl....

Special Bonus Video

Because you've all been so patient and awesome... Have another video diary. No really... have one for free.

Video Diary Time: Lost In Spa-a-a-c-c-e-e!!!

Apologies for a lack of posts recently, we've been coming down from the stress that was our trip! We're back and running now though, and I've finally been able to upload the video diary that we took last Saturday, when we were basically stuck on the Maryland/Delaware border.

Dear diary...

We are still stuck in Maryland. The car was fixed, and then broke down again.

We have spent some time observing the locals. Most appear to be
programmed to be nice, but are lacking in skills of reasoning and car
repair and conversations that include any level of intelligent
thought.

I wonder if we will ever leave

The burger king down the road is hiring, there is a hospital nearby.
If worse comes to worse we will just live here. Maybe it wouldn't be
so bad?

Oh boy. I just hope to all hell that our next leap, is the leap home.

--
Sent from my mobile device

It could, on reflection, have been worse...

So, some back story.

Alise had a conference in DC, today (Monday) and Tomorrow. Because I've never been to DC before, and because I had the opportunity to take a couple of days off work; we decided that I would come along for the ride, we'd spend Sunday sightseeing, and then I'd chill out and relax in the hotel and see some sights for myself while Alise worked.

We thought about flying, but the flights were either really expensive or would take over 6 hours. Seeing as it's only a 7 hour drive from Boston to DC, we decided we may as well just drive. What's the worst that could happen, right?

We set off early, thinking that we'd get to DC at around 3pm, be able to check into our hotel and maybe take a little nap in luxurious comfort, and then take an evening stroll around the nations capital. Sounds delightful, doesn't it?

We were making pretty good time. We had passed through New York city without too much trouble and we were approximately 100 miles from our destination.

We then hit trouble.

Suddenly, a plume of white smoke shot from the back of the car. I went from being able to drive at 75mph, to struggling to reach 40mph. Looking back we could see the cars behind us as the emerged from the fog that we were creating. We weren't in good shape.

We pulled onto the breakdown lane, and quickly got out of the car and hopped the crash barrier. Alise got on the phone with AAA. We had no idea really where we were, but Alise was able, pretty quickly, to let the operator know where to send someone.

When our tow arrived, we got the car hitched up and got into his cab. His name was 'Country', and it was obvious why. I honestly felt like we'd gone back in time and were in 1970's Alabama, or somewhere.

'Country' towed us to a Midas Muffler, which thankfully was open on a Saturday afternoon. They diagnosed that the problem was with the turbo, which typically enough is one of the most expensive parts that can go on a Saab. Awesome. They wouldn't be able to fix the car then, so we were stuck in Delaware. In a town with apparently nothing.

Cutting a long story slightly shorter, we settled on taxing a taxi to the nearest train station and taking the train to DC. I called Amtrak, and they told me that the ONLY train on a Saturday that stopped in this town on its way to DC arrived at 8pm. It was 4:30pm. Nevermind, we thought; we'd wait at the station. Sit for a while. Possible have a delightful sandwich or pastry.

The cab driver (another wierdo, we encountered a few) dropped us off at the train station and sped away. We stood to survey our surroundings, and realised that we were going to spend the next 3 hours of our lives at what was basically a platform. There was a building but all of the doors were shut fast. We had our belongings (why I insisted on bringing my heavy gear I'll never know) and we were trapped on a platform, waiting for 3 hours for the train.

The long and the short of it is that we survived this ordeal, and got onto the train bound for DC. The hour and a half ride seemed over in minutes, comfortable seats and safety certainly helped. We got to Union station, hailed a taxi, and checked into the hotel at around 10pm.

All in all, it really could have been worse. It was though a pretty depressing ordeal, and we often swore and cried.

You know what though? I have to tell you. Alise is pregnant and we've both been trying to save money for the baby. This ordeal should probably have sent her over the edge. She was wonderful throughout though, and pretty much always had a smile on her face and dealt with thigs way better than I did.

She's pretty special, you know.

Please excuse my language...

But we are having the worst fucking day in the history of wank fuck bollocks.

The pregnancy is fine, don't worry about that. No person or animal has
died. But Alise and I are having a shit arse crap day.

I shall explain more another time.

--
Sent from my mobile device

100th Post!

And to mark this milestone, new ultrasound photos!

The sun'll come out... tomorrow!

My apologies for not writing sooner, or for longer. Work has been very
busy (which of course, is nice), and we've both been busy at home.

The nursery is now really taking shape. We have a new light fixture in
there, complete with dimmer for the bay-bee. We've put up shelves in
the closet and we've bought more clothes and toys. We are no where
near 'ready', but we are certainly getting there.
One conversation that we've had recently has been in deciding whether
to go with cloth, or disposable diapers. Cloth are cheaper, and better
for the environment, disposable possibly fit the child better and are,
of course, easier. If anyone has any thoughts on the subject then
please weigh in!

--
Sent from my mobile device

It's a bad, mad world

Today we all remember those tragically shot in Texas. There's currently breaking news concerning a mass shooting in Florida. We are still involved in two wars, unemployment is over 10% in the States while the world tries to drag itself out of a recession.

So let's have a baby!

Alise and I both follow the news regularly. While it is true that bad news is reported more than good, it's certain that we're living in a world of uncertainty. Our boy will be born, and most likely will live his life in similar times. Wars happen, people get shot, many lives are touched by tragedy.

I've often thought that it might be bad to bring a child into this world. But... maybe not. Our child will be a bright light in our lives, and will give us joy above all joy. Currently nothing makes me happier than seeing our dog Coco roll around goofily on the bed, knowing that I helped to take her from a more upsetting life and that I, certainly helped in massive measures by Alise since she joined our family, have given her a life of comfort and pleasure. Shortly I'll look into the innocent eyes our our boy and see his joy as he wakes up into the world that we've created for him.

Boy, this world is a fucked up place but joy and happiness and love do exist within it. You will be born into a small family to parents that love you unconditionally and who will sacrifice and save to ensure that you have all that you need. I felt you kick last night, and while it was probably just a reflex movement for you, it meant the world to me.

Full Speed Ahead!

The nursery is painted, and we're having an electrician over this weekend to install a new light fixture and electrical sockets in there this weekend. Things are moving quickly!

 

Alise and I are really getting into the spirit of things now. We've been thinking of how the nursery will look, and we went to Ikea the other night to buy a Spanka, Sthummelstrob, Krenka, and Plajebomb. Or something. We're building up our collection of cute clothing and we're looking into toys, books and all things baby.

 

This is all most probably because Alise is showing and growing quickly. For a while there she didn't look any different at all, then she looked like she'd just gained a few pounds; but recently she's most obviously looking pregnant. On her way back from the hospital yesterday a lady gave up her seat on the train for Alise, and people in the outside world are comfortable to make comments.

 

The hospital visit was critical, but quick. Alise was one of the lucky ones to get the H1N1 vaccination, which is heavily recommended for pregnant women. I hope that any of you out there that are pregnant make sure to get the vaccine, and those that don't practice good hygiene methods and don't get sick!

Hallo-Wee

Alise and I live in a fairly residential, well-to-do neighborhood. There are some younger families with children, there's a park within a couple of minutes walk, and plenty of grandparents. Usually for Halloween we get quite the crowd of candy grabbing children, and the 31^st October is a fun night for all.

 

This year we went all out. We went to Target during the day, bought another big bag of candy (to add to the 4 big bags that we'd already bought), and I got some awesome skull lanterns. When we got home I set up the lanterns so that they framed the steps to the house and could be seen from far away. I added some more lights, we lit candles on the porch, we got a big bowl ready for candy, and we both sat on the porch with our laptops.

 

Waiting.

 

And waiting.

 

And waiting some more.

 

While we did get some trick or treaters, we didn't get nearly as many as we should.

 

And why not? It was pretty warm on Saturday evening, it was dry, and the house looked awesome. So why?? H1N1? Scared parents banning their kids from going out in case of razor blades in candy or pedophiles?  Are children just too lazy these days and stay inside watching DVD's and playing video games? What the F?

 

Next year our boy will be dressed for fright night, and I'm going to add a fog machine and scary noises soundtrack to our Halloween experience. I will do what it takes to ensure that we get more next year than we did this year. And if they don't come? More the year after!

Video Diary Special!

This weekend we're having the nursery painted!

Before being a prospective nursery, this room was used as an office and then a spare room. The walls (old house = horsehair plaster) were in terrible shape, and the colour a very 'sexy', but totally not nursery friendly brown.

I called on a young man, Brenden, who is spending the weekend patching and painting the room. Tomorrow I'll hopefully be able to update you and show you the new nursery!

Please use this as evidence if I should die on 01/01/2010

It's that time of year when we have to select our medical and life benefits.

 

Much like many people, we're given a chunk of credits that we can apply to different benefits. This usually means that someone like me (blind, British, scared of the doctor) may apply more credits to vision and dental coverage, less to medical coverage. I don't need to add our child to my plans just yet, apparently having a baby is counted as a 'qualifying event', and means that I can change my stuff when the 'event', 'occurs'.

 

I'm usually fairly frugal with my credits. Credits that remain can be converted to cash, which is added to your paycheck. The bare minimums usually work for me, enough coverage to be legal, not quite enough to be healthy.

 

This year is different.

 

This year I've given myself a half decent medical plan. I've gone with the premium vision plan, purely so that I don't have to clean my glasses on the scrubs of the delivering doctor before taking my first look at our son. I've even gone with a good dental plan, and might even go to one of those tooth doctors. I saved though, the biggest splurge for last.

 

I usually go with the minimum 1x salary for life insurance. I don't like to spend my money on life insurance, because I will never benefit.

 

Next year though, things change. So I turned the dial to 11. The max that I could get, I'm worth $200,000 dead. Alise is the sole beneficiary.

Shake it Baby, Shake it

It's possible.

It's very possible.

It's possible that Alise has felt the baby move, and maybe kick.

Right now we are on 'kick alert'. Alise called me this morning to tell me that she thought she'd felt the little chap move his feet. It's difficult to say for sure, there's a lot 'going on in there'; but this was a feeling that she's never felt before.

So we'll be very quiet the next few days, hoping for a repeat. If a kick is confirmed, then I'll be painting a ping pong ball to look like a soccer (football) ball, and making Alise swallow it. Just to give the boy some early practice.

References on Request

It was quite a day yesterday, my apologies for not posting. We've got a lot to talk about though, so stay posted.

I work for a company that is contracted to the State of Massachusetts, and as such am considered, for budgeting purposes, a State employee. Under normal circumstances this is a pretty good thing, the benefits are usually good, the jobs usually safe, the coffee usually of a pretty good standard.

These are not normal circumstances.

Like much of the country, indeed the world; the State of Massachusetts is low on money. $140 million has been slashed from the budget, cuts are being made.

It's for that reason that 9 of my colleagues walked out of the door yesterday, never to return. Among them some good friends, who I hope to keep in touch with but who I'll miss day to day. More layoffs are expected, and as I was the last in, I'm hoping to hell that I won't be among those out but I'm also preparing myself for the worst.

It's led to quite the atmosphere here. It almost feels like we're on one of those game shows where people are eliminated each week until a solitary winner remains. 'Who Wants to Keep Their Job!' is what I'm calling it, and I think I'll pitch the idea to the television people when I next see them. I kid, of course. Cutbacks are a necessary evil sometimes, it's just unfortunate for all that the economy is in the state that it is.

In other news though, happy awesome news; something wonderful happened this morning. Join us next week to find out what! (aw, just kidding, I'll write later on today).

Beggars 'R' Us

We went to Babies'R'us on Saturday, to start the registry for the baay-bee.

Sure, it was kind of fun to be given a gun and told to roam free among the store, scanning shit onto our list; but it was also a little depressing. We already knew this before; but babies need a lot of stuff!

We scanned a total of 11 things. We will need to go back. Often. There are many things, many whole sections of the store that we missed.

If anyone is interested in viewing our list, go to www.babiesrus.com and find the registry tab at the top, and search under 'brann' for last name of registrant, or crossland for co-registrant. We will let you know when we've finished the list, by which time the boy will probably be working there himself. It seriously could take that long!

Video Diary - Echo Bridge

Fall is here! Finally! The leaves are golden, the air cold and fresh without being frigid and filled with snow.

We took Coco for a walk in the woods earlier, to a place called 'Echo Bridge'. Hopefully the video will show why it's called that!

Blitzkrieg

For the last couple of days, Alise and I have been virtual mirror images of ourselves. We both sit, looking tired, with our hands stroking our stomachs.

 

For Alise, of course, this is all perfectly natural, healthy, and sweet. She's holding our child protectively, like the wonderful mother that she already is. She's getting used to this new growth, and getting to know her new body. Aaww… so sweet.

 

For me its because a war of attrition has broken out in my bowels.

 

After an initial night-time raid, the ars-is of evil struck a blow against the colon-ition. It was an intestine battle, during which the Turds were expelled from the Holey land.

 

Ok, I'll stop there. Sorry.

 

Of course, because I'm male, whenever I'm sick I'm 'dying'. Pretty soon I'll be fighting fit though, and ready to eat Indian food once more. To victory!

It's a small, small world

I think one of the strangest things for me about this day and age, is how small the world sometimes seems.

Today I read a story on the BBC website, so published in London, about a terror suspect that had been arrested in Massachusetts. And this was how I first found out about it.

Nevermind that I actually live in Massachusetts; I hear about where I live via the country that I left.

When I was growing up, America seemed like a lifetime away. I had always been very interested in the country, and it was always #1 on my personal 'I want to go there' list. Now I'm living here and I call it home; and understandably I guess the appeal has waned. Now I think that China or Japan are terribly interesting and deserving of my presence, and hopefully we'll be able to visit at some point.

Our child will think nothing of traveling long distances. As things stand, he's 3000 miles away from each of his grandmothers, one being to his east and one to his south-west. One of his uncles is currently about 3000 miles west, his closest grandparent a three hour car ride north.

A lot depends on whether we decide to stay where we are or to move closer to relatives, but it's likely that our boy will grow up with different ideas about family than we did. I truly hope that he will be as close to as many of them as possible, and hope that he won't miss out on anything just because his dad moved to America.

Farewell old friend...

Alise and I said goodbye to a dear old friend today.

Alise has had a belly button ring for about 10 years now. Its always
been there, a constant in an ever changing world. As the belly has
grown though, its become clear that this ring, this symbol of youth
and wild abandon, has to go.

We will miss you, old buddy. Thanks for the memories!

--
Sent from my mobile device

When I was young, we only had 3 channels!

I read two separate articles the other day.

 

The first was about some new kind of battery technology, that if successful will create batteries that, though just the size of a penny, could provide energy to power a device for 10 years. Without being recharged. Imagine the possibilities? Cars could be clean and need no gas, laptops could be used in the third world, and my phone won't need to be plugged in every night.

 

The second was about some mad scientist bloke who is developing a procedure that can slow the functions of the body to a basic crawl, allowing the critically ill to get medical care before it's too late. It's as if they are put into a suspended state. All very cool.

All of this is very exciting. Of course, I wasn't born in the dark ages but the level of advancement over the past few years has been quite astonishing.

Which led me to ponder… what will this earth be like when our son is our age?

What will the life expectancy be? What will transport be like? Television? We had a colour TV, but only with 3 channels and no remote control or method of recording. We had one computer at school, but it was very basic by today's standards and each child had about an hour a month on it. Alise and I, between us, have (I think) seven things that can get onto the internet. Will this be considered laughable in the future?

 

It's exciting to think of being a parent, but almost more exciting to think of the advances that will occur during his lifetime.

Video Diary Time!!

Fall, you tardy bastard

Dear Autumn,

 

WTF man?? What happened to you this year? Are you okay? Sick? H1N1???

 

We wish you'd told us. We had everything ready for you. We were going to pick apples and carve pumpkins and kick piles of leaves into the air. I had jackets for us all to wear too! Usually you show up and I can wear them for a few weeks and feel comfortable. But no. Apparently you're just TOOOO important and decided to bail on us.

 

Old man Winter, despite his age and arthritic knees, was EARLY. This should shame you. He actually made it snow this morning.

 

There's still time for you to make an appearance… just please be quick. Halloween just isn't the same without you.

 

Coldest regards,

 

New England.

The Strangest Thing...

The attached photo was obtained at the ultrasound.

It's one of those 3D type thingys, I'm not sure what the technology behind it is but it's one of the strangest ultrasound images I've ever seen. It shows our baby boy's face, and it's kind of creepy and kind of cute. Make of it what you will!

Song Time for Baby

When you were in, the ultra, sound,

I asked the doctor, what will you be,

'will it have bollocks, will it have none',

Here's what she said, to me…

 

It's a boy, a boy…..

 

 

That's quite enough of that nonsense.

 

So! We're having a boy. The ultrasound yesterday was quite an experience, really. While we didn't really get to see much of the whole of the child (not sure why, maybe he's too big to get onto the tv screen at once now?), they were able to do a 3D type photo of his face. I'll post that here when its scanned in.

 

It is quite a bizarre photo, and he looks kind of half alien/half child. The more that I look at it though, the cuter he gets. I think he's going to be a little heart breaker when he's older and less critically under-developed.

 

The strangest part, most certainly, was seeing that he was sucking his thumb. Even at just 18 weeks; this being, this child of mine was lying back, enjoying life, and sucking his thumb like his dad did until he was about… oohhh… 17.

And The Weiner Is...

For months now, I've been convinced that our child is a boy.

That's not to say that I'd necessarily prefer a boy, I've just had a feeling. Admittedly it was a 50/50 shot, but I was pretty convinced.

Today we had the ultrasound. While in there I asked the question, Rolf Harris style (British/Australian reference). 'Can you tell what it is yet?'

The radiologist checked with Alise to be sure that she wanted to know. Purely with the motive of proving me wrong, she did want to know.

'It's a boy' she said. I danced a little.

I would have been perfectly happy with a girl, of course. But, it's a boy!!

Ultrasound day

I'm writing this from the hospital, on my phone. Please excuse any
spelling errors.

We just had an ultrasound, and are waiting to see the doctor. Or
nurse. Or doctors assistant. Or something. Anyway, someone with much
more knowledge than I will be seeing us shortly.

The ultrasound did go well, and all appears to be in order. When the
time is right, we will announce the sex of the child, because we now
do know!

--
Sent from my mobile device

A Momentous Happening!

Something of great importance happened on Friday evening.

 

Alise and I, happy with our bulk cooking/freezing extravaganza, decided to splurge and go out to dinner. We settled, after some discussion, on a Chinese restaurant that's close to where Alise used to work. Called the 'Ginger Root', located in the Italian section of Newton, it's not much to look at from either side of the windows but it serves good Chinese food at a reasonable price with great service. And the mango chicken really is to die for.

 

After gorging ourselves, we both reclined and adopted the 'hands on belly' pose. When the waitress bought the check, she gave a shriek. 'You're pregnant!' she gasped.

 

This, ladies and gents, was the very first time that someone who doesn't know that Alise is pregnant has said that she is. It's official, she's looking like someone who's pregnant.

 

I did have to take a moment to make sure that she was talking to Alise, and not to me. While Alise is displaying a belly that's consistent with a 4 month old growth, so too am I.

 

It is, apparently, a common phenomenon. The daddy also eats for two, and puts on some weight. Last night I took a bath and was alarmed to find that rolls of fat were creeping up my torso, almost restricting my movement. I've added a few pounds, and I'm getting chunky.

 

While its never a bad idea to add some insulation as winter approaches (and it seems to have taken an express train, the morning walk was not pleasant today); I've never put on weight or bulk as quickly in my life. I'm eating well, but heartily, and at the current rate will be a bit of a bloater by the time the baby is born.

 

So; I'm going on a bit of a diet. I'm going to fight the flab and reduce my carby footprint. No more bacon shall pass my lips!

 

God I'm a terrible liar…

Bring Me My Grapes!

Alise and I were talking about her symptoms, or lack thereof, the other day.

 

It is, of course, a good thing that she hasn't suffered from morning sickness. Some women can suffer terribly, which isn't a good thing when nutrition and hydration is so important. The other 'Hollywood friendly' symptom that's been largely lacking has been for food cravings.

 

It was always central to my image of 'expectant father' that the man be seen driving all around town at 3am to locate the specific brand and flavor of ice-cream that his partner desired. I've always heard stories of women craving the strangest concoctions, mixing ingredients with wild abandon and barking almost impossible orders, Emperor style. 'Bring me freshly picked oranges! And then liquefy them with Gouda. And do it now!'.

 

Alise hasn't asked this. She hasn't really asked anything close. When she needs to eat she NEEDS TO EAT RIGHT NOW! – but she's basically been eating the same things that she ate before.

 

So, I kind of feel like I've been missing out. It feels like I've missed out on a rite of passage. This way is preferable to scouring the 24 hour stores for blueberry jam, but still… I've been largely redundant throughout all of this.

 

One symptom, of course, that's hit particularly hard in the last week or so has been lack of sleep, coupled with back aches. We'll touch on that one shortly.  

Water Water Everywhere...

This morning I woke up fairly late and scurried to get ready for work. My morning routine on days like these involves dressing largely in the dark so as not to wake Alise any more than I already have, throwing some food down Coco's throat, letting her outside so that she can water and fertilize the lawn, swishing some mouthwash, grabbing some lunch out of the fridge (if available) and scooting out of the door to walk the 15 minutes to the train station.

 

This morning, as I walked, I noticed that one of the temporary water pipes that's been set up in the neighborhood had sprung a leak, and was sending a torrent of water into the street. I avoided getting splashed by cars and got to my train.

 

When I checked emails on my phone, I saw a flood (pun intended) of emails from the neighbors, complaining of a loss of water pressure. I communicated to then (via the neighborhood email chain thingy) my findings, relaying that it was probably the cause of said loss of pressure.

 

Emails erupted. Everyone complaining, and reporting their loss of water. I remember thinking to myself 'jesus! Calm down people! It's only water!'

 

Of course, in a few months it'll be different. Alise and I can perfectly take care of ourselves whether we have no water, no electricity, or even (gasp) no internet. Soon though we'll depend on these things, we'll need all of the creature comforts of home to be uninterrupted. We'll rely on people and things. Whereas now we often say 'you and me against the world', we'll soon need the world more than ever.

MIND THE GAP!!

It was probably only about 6 weeks or even a month ago that Alise and I were in a Gap Maternity store.

 

At that point, she had put on a little weight, and had a little bit of a tummy. She really didn't look pregnant though, more like she'd eaten quite a bit recently and hadn't exercised. Her clothes were getting a little tight though, and we'd begun to shop for maternity clothes.

 

While there, and while she was trying on her clothes, Alise found a 'fake belly' in the changing room. Basically a bump with Velcro strapping, she was able to see for herself how she'd look with a baby belly, and therefore how the clothes would fit.

 

At the time, if I'm honest, it kind of scared me to see her with this fake belly. Hypothetically I know that a real belly would soon come, but to see an artist impression of Alise in the future had put me on edge. And this was only 6 weeks ago, if that.

 

Within the space of this 6 weeks (or less. On reflection; I think it's more like a month) Alise has certainly grown. She went from 'might have had a few too many cheeseburgers' to 'I should probably give my seat up to that girl but I don't know for sure if she's pregnant so I might offend her if she's just a bit heavy' to 'baby on board'. Obviously she's going to get a lot bigger before she gets smaller, but she's certainly well on the way.

 

And am I scared? Do you know what? I'm actually not. Alise looks wonderful. She's glowing, she looks healthy, and she's as cute as a button. These are good times.

Time Flies When You're Having Unplanned Pregnancies...

Sometimes I like to play a game.

Actually, I should rephrase that statement. At pretty much every stage of my existence I'm playing some kind of game. 'What stop will he get off the train', is one. 'How many people will call in sick today', another. You may think I'm childish, but it helps to pass the day and it's all good practice for when the child arrives. I've actually considered that I'll think of this thing as less a child than a really late little brother or sister; which I'm sure is going to put Alise into a great position.

Anyway. This game I'm talking about.

Starting from the front page of the BBC website, I allow myself 5 clicks and have to end up at the story that was published furthest back in time. Because the BBC website has only been around since 1998 or so, and because the links to stories are related to current affairs, ending up in the early 2000's is a great achievement. The other day I broke my all time record (securing the Gold medal in the process), when I landed, on click 5, at this gem published in 1999.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/432463.stm

I then sat, my jaw dropping evermore, and read the story.

Firstly, this is batshit insane. A grandmother at 26?? I'm 31 and consider myself pretty young and I'm worrying about my readiness for parenthood. If I were this lady I could be a grandparent of a 5 year old! Crazy.

I then, soon afterwards, got an email from an old friend, Catrin, who reminded me that 10 years ago I started work at the same company that she currently works at. This shook me. (I should point out that when I say 'Old Friend', I mean that I've known Catrin for 10 years. Not that she's old. Though in fairness, she is 10 years older now than when I first met her).

I guess time really does fly. A lot has happened since I first showed up for my first 'real job' in an ill fitting suit and with a leatherette briefcase, but it really doesn't seem like it was 10 years ago. In 10 years I'll be in my 40's. In another 10 my child will be either at college or... well who knows where s/he'll be. If their life is anything like the people in the article, I could be a grandfather in a little under 13 years. Now there's something to scare the bejesus out of me.

We're running out of space...

One of the better pieces of advice that I've had in the last few weeks was this:

 

'Practice bending over now. You'll be doing it a lot when you've got a child'

 

Sound advice.

 

Alise and I both have issues with our backs. I have graduated from feeling a twinge in my back every now and then to now always saying 'oouuch' whenever I bend at a greater than 90 degree angle. Often I wake in terrible pain, and many of my older t-shirts now stink of Ben-Gay. For those of you that are not American, Ben-Gay is a menthol rub product, and not what your perverted minds are thinking it is.

 

To try to help ourselves, we've been talking about buying a new mattress. Many people with back complaints consider a good mattress the best purchase that they make, and no doubt we'd feel the same way. Since, however, we're a pair of cheap bastards; we've been exploring more frugal alternatives.

 

The first thing that we're trying is a mattress pad. This thing that we bought from Target is the consistency of a heavy comforter and sits on top of the mattress, below the ground sheet. We put it on last night and it transformed our bed from 'fairly normal bed' to 'most comfortable bed in the world'. Time will tell what effect this will have on our spines, but I'm not going to let this thing go without a fight.

 

This though, isn't the only difference to our sleeping. Alise is having to sleep on her side these days, for that's what's recommended. To aid this, last week we bought a body pillow. A big, long, soft, green thing that's now sharing the bed with Alise, myself, and our four cats who have decided to bury their individual differences for the sakes of somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep.

 

Things are getting a little crowded.

 

We don't have the largest bed in the world. It's a queen size, and on an average night contains 4 pillows, 1 super large pillow, 7 heartbeats and some crumbs. If this truly is the calm before the storm (which I'm in no doubt, it is), then it's going to be one hell of a storm.

Video Diary Time!!

I know, I know... It's been a while! But fear not, here is the latest video diary.

Small thing to note though, this wasn't actually going to be a video diary. It was supposed to be a photo. Since the camera was set to 'video' mode though, I made the snap decision to do it live, and shoot where we were. This explains both the hesitation at the beginning of the video, and also the fact that it was taken 'portrait' style as opposed to 'landscape'. You'll either have to tilt your head or turn your monitor on one end. You'll cope.

And dinner will be served at 4pm...

Alise and I were discussing our 'what to do's this weekend' earlier.

 

Last weekend we went to the football (soccer) game at Gillette stadium, home of the New England Revolution and the New England Patriots. They've built quite the complex there, with stores, restaurants and a Showcase cinema. Last weekend we went to 'Five Guys' for a burger before the game, and found it to be (in my humble opinion, at least) the best burger joint on the face of the Earth.

 

We've decided that this weekend we'll go to see a movie at the Showcase, having lunch at Five Guys before we go. Quite seriously we decided to go to an afternoon screening, because when we go to the movies in the evenings we get tired and feel like falling asleep.

 

Now, Alise has an excuse for this. She's pregnant! What's my excuse?

 

My hair gets grayer with every passing month. I get tired easily, and my back hurts. I'm old even before someone as yet unborn has the ability to say 'Gawd Dad! You're SOO old!'.

 

I'm wondering what effect this baby will have on me and my energy levels. On one hand I think that it'll whip me into shape. That I'll be so busy that I'll have no time to be tired. On the other…

 

It scares me to even think what shape I'll be in, in a year from now.

She's Going to be a Baby Doggy

I mentioned Coco yesterday, and her magnificent efforts to save us all money by heating the house solely through the heat of her farts. She hasn't yet realized that we outdo her efforts by opening the windows to allow the smell, and the heat to escape, but she is trying and we appreciate this.

There has been another noticeable difference in Coco's behavior, over the last few weeks.

I've told you about Coco before, but let me recap. Coco is a gorgeous, very large, lovable and quite goofy nine year old Chocolate Lab. She's an English Lab, so has larger ears and a more pronounced nose that your typical lab, which just adds to her beauty. She's the kind of dog that people slow down to gawk at, and children love her. We were walking her the other day down our street when a child being held by its father came the other way. This little girl (must have been maybe a year old) gave a shriek and pointed at Coco, her legs waving in a gesture of sheer joy, matched only by the smile on her face and also by the tail wag of Coco.

Coco is great with kids. When around adults, especially tall, adult males she will horseplay like the horse that she is. She'll rush into people, jump up at them, try to lick the tops of their head, and generally be a big and unruly goofball. When faced with small kids though, she'll calm down and allow them to pet her, she'll make less violent movements, and she'll let them do anything to her. She's wonderful, and I'm quite sure that she'll be wonderful with our child.

There is something though, I think, that she's already started to do. I think that she's started to become ultra protective of Alise.

If Coco is allowed into our bedroom and onto the bed, she'll quite gently but quite deliberately crawl to Alise and lay her head onto her stomach. She'll be calmer than she used to be. I've noticed this as a subtle change recently, and I think it'll become more pronounced as the weeks pass. In addition, last night she heard someone outside our house. Before she would have let out a short 'gruff' sound. Last night she howled, loudly, and then barked. Very rare for Coco, but I think indicative of her probably very innate transition to protector and guardian of Alise.

Coco, if you're reading this (and I know you do all sorts of things while we're at work so I'm not putting it past you), thank you. You've been an awesome companion for the last few years and I'm looking forward to introducing you to your little brother or sister to you. They'll have a long way to go to beat you.

What's in a name?

If Shakespeare is to be believed, the name of anything bears no impact upon the beauty of that thing. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. Surely by default this would mean that Coco's farts, if called 'buttercups', would still smell horrific and would still mean that we'd have to have all of the windows in the house open, even as the weather cools.

 

Of course, they would. Coco has no knowledge of the word 'fart' and therefore cannot influence their regularity or potency just because Alise and I call out 'OHMYGODCOCOFARTEDBAD!' to each other. By the same token, if our child is given the name 'Buttface', 'Poopstain', 'Smeghead' or 'Margaret', it will still be as cute as a button, despite its unfortunate moniker.

 

So why are we stressing so much about baby names?

 

Because, it's the single most important decision that we can make for this child, that's why.

 

Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But maybe not. I attach great significance to the names of people, and form opinions in my mind before I meet them in person if I know their name. I have often thought to myself 'he's nice, but I don't think he's a proper 'Dave'', which is a very strange thing to think.

 

So we're going to discuss this name business, quite probably until the moment of birth. We have a few that we like, but we've decided not to share. We're like great artists, we only want you to see it when it's finished and signed.

Let's talk about sex, baby

Both of us, individually, have each held the following opinions.

 

 

1) 'we shouldn't find out the sex of the child, let's keep it as a surprise!'

Or;

2) 'lets find out! It'll make things much easier! Plus, we're really impatient!'

 

We've also both discussed this, at length. I suppose it could be possible that one of us knows and the other doesn't, but how long do you suppose that would last?

 

We both really don't care if this child is male or female. There are pro's and con's to both; Alise loves the little dresses that girls can wear (though she is fast becoming a fan of boys clothes too), while I would probably prefer to play with toy cars and trucks than Barbies. We could, of course, have a boy who plays with dolls or a girl who plays with cars and that would be totally fine with us (especially if the girl graduates to play with bigger cars and can perform a tune up and oil change in the driveway), but I'm working on what's more likely here. I will play soccer with either sex and the child will be a Nottingham Forest fan (the poor soul), so its not like we have different plans for raising the kid if born a boy or a girl.

 

But, there are things that we can decide on beforehand if we know what we're getting. A name, for one. Baby clothes could be bought in confidence before birth.

 

Neither of us are big fans of 'blue for boys and pink for girls', though. The nursery will be painted in a gender neutral color, a yellow or green perhaps.

 

Still, we think that we will ask to know the sex of the child as soon as possible. We'll be able to settle on a name, we'll be able to plan a little better, and we'll stop referring to the growth within Alise as 'it'.

 

Which then leads to the next question. Do we tell our friends and family what we're getting? I kind of think it might be awesome to keep it a secret; something Alise and I could share. It would also mean that baby shower gifts are more gender neutral.

 

Hhmmm…. Things to ponder…

Baby is SO needy...

Alise and I went to a consignment sale this weekend.

 

It was basically a few yard sales in one. There was furniture, toys, clothes for both baby and mommy and other 'things'. While we were able to pick up a few bargains, it also bought home something to me.

 

Babies need a lot of stuff!

 

Obviously, baby needs to be dressed, especially if it's going to go outside. It needs something to catch its number ones and twos, it needs something to be wiped with. It needs food, and if breast milk is its food then we will need something to extract the milk and store it for those times when Alise's 'kitchen' is closed. It'll need somewhere to sleep and somewhere to sit. It'll need toys and it'll need a car seat. It'll need a stroller, it'll need… a whole lot of stuff.

 

I was a little overwhelmed at this place. The fact that 'baby will need stuff' wasn't a foreign concept to me before, but being there really bought it home to me.

 

I think that part of the problem is that, while Alise is now showing (photos will be shown, I promise), and even though we've seen an ultrasound; it's still kind of a hypothetical concept. Honestly, I think that we'll both be able to better analyze and consider this 'thing' as a person when we find out the sex, and when we decide on a name.

 

Both of these, things that I'll talk about in the next couple of days!

Self Promotion

Hi all,

Alise and I had a lovely day yesterday. We went to a consignment sale of baby and maternity things, and got some great bargains. We then came home, relaxed, did some laundry, before going to a soccer game between the New England Revolution and Seattle Sounders. We even got to go onto the pitch before the game, which was really cool. Photos and more stories to follow!

Here's the self promotion part... I've started another blog where I'll be posting one chapter a week of a new book, 'Big Brother Joe'. Hopefully it'll make me rich and famous! Or it'll just be something that I'm proud of and will look back on with pride.

Follow it here...

http://bigbrotherdiary.blogspot.com/

Oooh-terus

For the last few months, this whole 'baby thing' has been quite fun, really. As I've discussed in detail, Alise has had to pee quite a bit, has had some (but not many) food cravings, and her boobs have grown. Apart from that though… all has been pretty quiet. There's been few constant reminders to me, that she, is preggers.

 

All of this has changed, literally in the last week. Whereas before Alise looked like she'd possibly had a few too many cheeseburgers, she now looks decidedly pregnant. Her belly has grown; she's 'popped'.

 

As Alise pops her belly, Jeremy poops his pants.

 

Seeing Alise now so obviously 'with child' has kind of scared me. I knew it was coming, but it still came as quite a shock to me and I'm struggling to reconcile it in my teeny little head. I suppose it's like a lot of things. I've known that people are dying but it didn't sink in until I saw them in hospital. I've known that  winter is coming but it won't hit me until I see frost on the car windows and snow on the ground. I work so much with visuals (surprisingly, since I'm so blind) that even the mental knowledge of an event means little until I see evidence with my own four eyes.

 

I know I'll be okay, I know I'll adjust to this and be fine. Mentally, I know this. I've yet to see it with my own eyes though…

That was Summer??

Fall has officially come to New England.

Leaves are changing, Halloween decorations are up at all the stores, apples are in season and Alise is already contemplating painting her stomach to look like a jack o' lantern... What does all this mean? Well, in almost exactly a month, we'll be celebrating our 2nd anniversary and Alise may be just beginning to feel the little flutters as our baby moves around.

 At that point, we'll be rapidly approaching the halfway point in the pregnancy and things will be even more 'real' than they have been... Seasons change quickly in New England. One day you're blowing off errands to go to Water Country, and before you know it, you're shoveling 4 feet of snow out from around your car at 7 am trying to get to work. It makes us realize how quickly this baby is going to be coming into our lives, even though we often feel like the process takes forever.

The leaves are just starting to change, but autumn comes and goes quickly. Soon the trees will be bare, Thanksgiving will be over, and we'll be getting ready for a visit from Alise's sister at Christmastime. Though it seems like only yesterday we found out about the pregnancy, it's already been nearly 4 months. Before we know it, we'll be bringing this whole new person into our lives. And probably not blowing off errands for water parks for a while...

The 'real man' rubs it in...

You may recall my mentioning Alise's brother and his status (in my eyes at least) as 'a real man'.

Well... He's only gone and got himself onto the front page of the local newspaper! Go on... read all about it.. http://www.theolympian.com/672/story/977386.html?storylink=omni_popular

Baby Daddy has a new job!

We hope. The place that I've been contractually working for (I.E. paid by the hour with no benefits) wants to take me on full time. Go me!

To celebrate this, Alise and I headed to the only Sonic restaurant in Massachusetts. I always see their commercials, but until recently the nearest Sonic was in Ohio; which is a fair drive. The new one opened recently and is a mere 40 minutes away, a short hop for fast food.

Alas, like any half decent in Massachusetts, this place is very popular. You know, we went to a new Chinese restaurant a few weeks ago and the wait was 2 hours. 2 hours!! For food! Really?

We're not patient people. We didn't wait for 2 hours at the Chinese, we didn't wait in line at Sonic.

We ended up, late and cranky, at Friendly's. We were not satisfied, we were not well nourished, we were not in a celebratory mood.

No matter, all is going well for these two soon to be parents. Still no real symptoms, still feeling like it's all kind of hypothetical. Oh how our lives will soon be thrown into panic.

We love the new chest!

It's okay, don't worry... this time I'm not talking about Alise's boobs...

Last Friday we decided to buy a new chest freezer. We have an old, stand up, fridge below/freezer on top thingy which while functional, doesn't allow us to keep too many things in a state of frozen. We went to Sears and picked out a nice small chest freezer (one that would be fairly cheap to run, wouldn't take up too much space in the kitchen, and which would fit in the back of Alise's car), and adopted the 'hey salesman, we want to buy something' pose.

Soon a kindly gentleman came over and talked us through our purchase. We spent a good while talking with him, comparing the freezer to other models, before settling on our choice. We wanted the freezer.

Turns out he didn't actually work there, he was just a nice old man who liked talking to people. No matter.

We eventually found someone and bought the appliance. Got it home, plugged it in, and spent the rest of the weekend filling it.

You see, Alise is currently nesting. A combination of the pregnancy and the approach of winter has turned her into a 5'7" squirrel. We cooked up pasta sauce, we made lasagna. We bought a 'shit ton' of bread rolls and froze them too. We cleaned the pantry of 'old crap' and filled it with 'new crap'; we're ready for an apocalypse.

Really? More Video?

Yes really! And this is a special, 'filmed by Alise' video...

More Videos!

Merely by way of 'you're great, thanks for keeping on reading'... here's more video!

Video Diary Extravaganza!

It's been a tough week for followers of the baby daddy. Updates have been few and far between, explanations poor. Here's my way of making it up to you... a video diary overload from last weekend at the cabin!

First, we have Alise and I on the water... enjoy!

Ultra-ULTRA!-Sound

This ultrasound came as quite a shock to both of us...

The last one was very cool, don't get me wrong. We saw a blob, saw a heart beating, didn't really see much of anything else.

This time we went into the room like we were old pro's, thinking that we knew what we'd see. We left the room slightly giddy, after seeing a head, legs, arms, fingers, even possibly a nose. We also heard the heartbeat.

Amazing stuff, really. We got some photos, some of which I have crudely photographed myself and attached above. Apologies for the quality.

So Many Stories!!

Thankfully, we have a lot of time to talk about them...

Welcome back everyone! I hope you all had a lovely long weekend, whatever you did.

Alise, Coco (hereafter named 'The Burping Fart Monster') and I had a lovely weekend at a VERY remote cabin, on a lake, in northern Maine.

There will be STORIES!
There will be VIDEOS!
There will be PHOTOS!

And if that wasn't enough to salivate you on this Tuesday, we also had our second ultrasound this morning!!

Stay tuned everyone, things are getting exciting!

My Bad...

You're all totally correct, there haven't been many updates to the blog recently.

In all honesty, things are rolling along perfectly normally, but surprisingly we are still short of pregnancy symptoms. Rather than being relieved about this, it's really been a little disconcerting. There should be more to report, right??

Alise has been slowly but steadily putting on weight, and in my opinion is possibly starting to show. In her opinion she's getting 'fat', which is perfectly understandable but also something that I have to argue about with her. To me she's glowing, beautiful and divine; and far from fat. To her she's unable to comfortably fit into her pants and has a spare tire.

It can't be easy, naturally putting on weight at a fairly high rate. It can't be easy at all.

The 'frequent trips to the bathroom' symptom continues, but is now feeling like a 'normal' part of life. We plan for it, we know that its coming. Easy for me to say of course, its not me that is waking every night to go potty, but Alise seems to have accepted it and would probably be most put out if she slept through without going.

Tiredness is still an issue, but with the lives that we all lead, can be attributed to pretty much everyone. Tell someone at work that you're tired, and most will say that they are too.

Apart from that though? We pretty much carry on with life! I'm sure that things will pick up now that we are in the second trimester, and that there will be plenty more to report to you all.

A celebration...

Is it the beginning of the second trimester, or the fact that Coco the
dog just farted? Actually its both! I shall explain more in the
morning...

Child of mine, I took your mommy to the fanciest restaurants...

While yesterday was really the day that we celebrated Alise's birthday, today is the actual anniversary of her birth.

Yesterday, despite the rains, we had a lovely day. Today was always going to be a little bit of a letdown in comparison; and so it really proved. We were both up early (again) because Coco (again) thought that we should be awake and serving breakfast at 6am, and after both showering and dressing we realized that we had a couple of hours to kill before we were to meet friends for breakfast, at noon. We picked up a pretty bad scone, a not so good breakfast sandwich, and the worst cup of coffee that I've ever tasted from the local Starbucks, and went to Target to see what their maternity selection was like.

Now, please... help us out here. Where have all of the maternity clothes in stores gone?? It really seemed that before Alise became preggers we'd always see maternity clothes. Alise would see something, and say 'that looks cute'. I'd look up from my meticulous inspection of a bra to nod agreement, then she'd notice that it was a maternity item. 'Ah well', we'd think. 'At least we know where to go when we're expecting'.

No longer. Where do pregnant women buy their clothes nowadays?

Anyway. We shopped for a little while, met the above mentioned friends for breakfast, decided that we'd try the outlet stores for maternity clothes, recoiled in horror at the lines to get in and amount of people there, then came home in time to serve Coco once more before deciding that we should probably nourish ourselves as well.

Don't ask us how we ended up where we ended up, just don't judge us until you've tried it yourself.

We ate, on Alise's birthday please remember, at the 'Old Country Buffet'. The first time for both of us. For just $12 each we ate all that we wanted (which wasn't too much, as it turned out) and 'enjoyed' a wide variety of meats, vegetables, sides, breads and desserts. It was a surreal experience, but to be honest wasn't actually all that bad. I doubt that we'll become regulars, but it is possible that we'll be back.

We're now home again, both in bed. Alise is on the phone with her mom (hi mom) while I write this. While tomorrow will signal the beginning of the work week, it will also signal the beginning of the second trimester for this little alien of ours. Quite a scary, but beautiful thought.

I don't care what the weatherman says when the weatherman says it's raining...

Longest title ever? Possibly.

It rained, all day. From the moment that Coco decided that we should wake, until the last second that we were outside, it poured. Rain. HEAVY rain. Not the best birthday weather.

My special secret plan was that this morning we were going to go horseback riding. A very sedate and pregnancy friendly ride, at a ranch/farm about a 20 minute drive from home. This, sadly, did not and could not happen.

The second part of my plan did proceed as planned. I drove Alise to the next town over where she was given a 50 minute pre-natal massage. I had only planned for this to be a one time occurrence, but a combination of Alise's relaxed glow as she exited the massage room and some persuasive sales techniques lead me to purchasing Alise a 6 month membership at the massage place. She will be given hour long massages, once a month, until the birth of the alien. This is the most expensive birthday present I've ever given, but I think it'll be worth it.

The final, and more predictable part of the day was dinner at one of Alise's favorite restaurants. Her chicken was very flavorful and moist, my steak wonderfully cooked and tender.

All in all, no matter whatever the weather, we had a good day.

Happy Birthday Alise... I love you loads!

Oh Danny Boy...

Sunday is Alise's birthday.

We had planned to have a big ol BBQ on Saturday, celebrating both Alise's birthday and also the end of the first trimester. Time has flown since we first found out about the impending alien, and we wanted to celebrate in style.

We looked at the weather forecast earlier this week, and cold winds and showers appeared to be greeting us. Not exactly great grilling weather. We decided to cancel on Wednesday, so I sprung into action like a superhero to make alternative plans for Alise's birthday. I have a whole day on Saturday planned, booked, and partly paid for; she's going to love it!!

Except that part of it is outside. And the weather forecast, thank to tropical storm Danny, is heavy wind and rain. Washout.

So, I don't know what we'll do now. I'm feeling pretty depressed about the whole thing, to be honest. This will be her last birthday before the baby comes, and it'll be instantly forgettable. Damn Danny.

Twitter Stuff

You may have noticed that I haven't 'tweeted' in a while.

I think twitter may be beyond me. I don't love it. I don't really see the need to be telling you what Alise and I do every hour of the day, one synopsis to cover each 24 hour period seems to satisfy your appetites so far. Once we are at 'critical moment' times, when I don't have access to a PC, perhaps I'll 'tweet' more often; but for now it appears that it'll lay dormant, waiting for something awesome and maybe funny.

Of course I am also bitter because I only have 4 followers. Four!

Speaking of bitter and twitter (hey! that rhymed!), one twitter that I do love is this one:

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

This gentleman is my personal hero, and person whom I aspire to be. Some may say I'm already well on my way...

There's nothing we like more than 'nothing'

Alise and I have been wondering what to do with ourselves on the Labor Day weekend.

Leading so far is the opportunity to spend a couple of days in complete and total isolation, at a cabin in northern Maine. This cabin has not any running water, no electricity, no internet, no inside toilet, no neighbors, no nothing. And to us, this sounds perfect.

Funny really. Humanity has spent thousands of years developing society, convenience, things that make us feel comfortable and things which make our lives easier. We then choose, even pay money; for the opportunity to live without them.

As things stand, I'm not sure if we are going away, my emails today to the owner of the cabin have gone unanswered. If we can't go, we could always stay at home and cut the wires to the electricity and turn off the water. That'll be the same, right?

Tuna Meltdown

Here's a helpful tip for all of you baby daddies out there who want the chance to repeat the baby making experience again, at some point in your life.

 If baby mommy wants food, either get it for her quickly, or get the fuck out of her way. Pronto. This means NOW.

 I was a little naive. I have observed pregnant ladies eat a little more than they perhaps need.

'I'm eating for two!' they'll claim. 'Baby wants corn-dogs covered in syrup!' they'll call. 'Bullshit' I'll call back, under my breath of course.

Alise has been eating a little more than usual, but nothing totally out of the ordinary. She is trying to eat more healthily, and frequently. This helps the nausea you see.

The one thing that we have learned though, is that when she needs to eat, she needs to eat immediately.

 The other day we were both in the kitchen. I was putting away dishes (primarily clean ones), while she was making herself a tuna melt.

 I was, as usual, messing around.

 'I need to get a pan out of that cupboard', she told me. I was standing in front of this cupboard, putting stuff away.

'One sec' I told her, moving slowly.

'I really need that pan' she said.

'Yep, moving quick as I can'. I wasn't, I was messing around.

'PLEASE! GET OUT OF THE WAY!'

I don't blame her, but you see, I wasn't aware. She went from being a little peckish to feeling like she'd faint without instant nourishment. I slinked away and made myself a mental note.

Never come between a pregnant woman and her food!

Le Weekend

As mentioned in the video diary for this week (what do you mean you didn't watch it yet?! I thought you were a fan! I thought we had something special!)... we went to Alise's grandparents house in New Hampshire this weekend.

We were a little early getting to their town, owing to our need to leave the house and to be on the road before McDonalds finishes serving breakfast. Don't judge us. We realized that we had about an hour to kill, and remembering that a friend had been to a flea market in the area, we did a quick google search on my phone and found the location. Popping the address into the GPS (we are SO high-tech!) we found the place, paid $1 each to get in, and started to rummage.

I haven't really been to a flea market since I were a child in the United Kingdom where we usually call them 'car boot sales'. The cavities at the rear of a car where you can keep groceries, spare tires and small children is called a 'boot' in the UK. It was our language first, you Americans are the strange ones. Aside from the name, they are largely the same event. People sell either stolen, fake, or useless stuff at cheap prices to people looking to kill an hour or so before lunch with Grandma.

It was at the flea market that we ended up with a changing table, sold to us by an unshirted, tattoo covered, strange scar wearing middle aged gentleman who probably had as many identities as teeth. Possibly two. The flea market was a strange place, and I loved it there.

We will buy new where we think that new is necessary. We will though attempt to get as many things from flea markets as possible, and we will have a grand old time doing it.

P.S. In the video below, it does appear that Alise is around 7 months pregnant. She isn't. She was slouching a little, was a little bloated after eating, and was wearing a flowing dress.

Video Diary... Grandma's House

Alise and I went to her grandparents house for lunch today. Never one to miss an opportunity, I took the camera with us and we recorded a video diary entry from there. Enjoy!

'Preggo Sympto' #1

Regrettably, my lack of a post yesterday isn't due to the fact that we actually won $170 million squillion dollars, more because we were busy, got home late, and I crashed into bed, neglecting my blogging duties. I'm ashamed and terribly upset with myself.

 

We went to friends for dinner last night. They have a young son (between the age of a year and a half and two years, I think) who is a lovely little brat. He is, according to his parents, a ball of terror but he has a wonderful smile and in my book at least, could get away with murder. He's quite taken with me, apparently, and spend most of the evening playing with me, sitting on my knee, handing me hats and glasses to wear, calling my name and warming my stone cold heart.

 

Anyway, to the first symptom of pregnancy in  the first trimester. The frequent urges to pee.

 

This was the first sign that we had, that Alise might be 'with child'. Even before the pregnancy tests were even unwrapped and peed on (yeah, I'm sensing a theme here too), Alise spent a couple of nights of discomfort because she had to keep getting up, sometimes hourly, to use the bathroom.

 

Honestly, I have no idea why this happens. No doubt Alise will read this blog and then tell me. Obviously further along in the pregnancy baby will be big enough to put pressure on momma's bladder which will have much the same effect, but for now I'm going to take a guess at 'hormones'. Hormones take the blame for a lot of things, rightly so.

 

The constant urges to pee have followed Alise for the last 10 weeks. We only have the one bathroom at home (unless you count the toilet in the basement… ever seen 'Trainspotting'? The toilet that we have is much the same as the 'worst toilet in Scotland'), but thankfully, so far, there have been no arguments over ownership of the facilities. I do feel terribly sorry for Alise though, it must be an awful wrench to have to keep getting up to pee, and to have to always be worried about where to pee when we're out.

This Time Tomorrow...

We could be millionaires. It is possible! I bought two mega millions tickets today, the jackpot is $170 million. I have my fingers crossed tightly.

Anyway. I've decided that since we are at the 10 week stage now, I'm going to go into some further details about the symptoms of pregnancy in the first trimester that Alise has had. While we really think that she's been lucky that her symptoms have been fairly mild, they have been pretty varied. So far, they have consisted of:

- frequent peeing
- weird vivid dreams
- breakouts
- fatigue
- sore/bigger boobs
- slight nausea on occasion
- increased appetite
- congestion
- pregnancy gingivitis

I shall explore each of these in detail in the coming days, letting you all know how they've affected our lives.

Apparently I still make her heart race...

Or, I make her blood boil. Perhaps you can decide for yourself which is more fitting.

Let's take a moment here and be honest with one another...

If you have the perfect relationship, and define 'perfection' as including the fact that you have never, ever argued with your partner, then you're either in the most wonderful partnership out there, or you're simply lying.

The other night, Alise and I had a 'difference of opinion'. Not a bad 'I will cut your nuts off' fight, just a little tiff. At the point that things were winding down and we were deciding if we actually did want to go and see a movie, Alise, out of my line of sight, sat down on the stairs.

'Well are we going or what?' I called to her. I was a little pissy still but was trying (honestly) to bury the hatchet.
'One minute' Alise said. Something in her voice told me that something wasn't right.

You know, we really have been very lucky as far as pregnancy symptoms are concerned. Alise hasn't had bad morning sickness and the only time that she's looked as though she's even thinking about throwing up is when faced with my take on an American Chop Suey.

Here's one though, that we weren't expecting.

It shouldn't have come as too much of a surprise. When pregnant, the heart can pump between 30% and 50% more blood, so that the fetus can be supplied with its goodness. Quite a feat, but which can put quite a strain on baby momma. Add to this the fact that we had been out in the midday sun for perhaps longer than we should have, and had drunk a little less water than would be advised, and you have the ingredients for a scary few minutes.

Alise's heart rate skyrocketed. Her heart was beating so fast that it could hardly even be counted, it was beating so hard that her chest was basically vibrating. I took her upstairs and into bed, and got her some water.

Alise could barely talk, let alone catch her breath. I thought that she was possibly getting better when she spoke, I knew that she was on the road to recovery when she said 'can you bring me my laptop? I want to look this up, see if it's normal'.

Apparently, this is a normal symptom. The heart goes through a lot when pregnant, and is known to 'flip out' from time to time. Dehydration, stress, anger and pregnancy can be a tricky combination, and anyone out there that's either pregnant or living with a pregnant person should be aware of these issues.