Don't Panic!

No seriously, don't panic.

We're still waiting, still getting ready mentally and physically for the baby. There's not a whole lot to say right now, to be honest; and this kind of feels like the calm before the storm. We're going to have a shit-ton of things to talk about very soon, but for now we're still waiting and we are getting more and more impatient.

There are some things that I want to say to someone out there, though. Someone special. Someone who is my son.

Be safe, little guy. Be safe in your little sanctuary. Be safe, and be healthy and do whatever it is that you need to do in these last couple of weeks.

I can't wait to see you, and I can't wait to start to bond with you. Your mom and I have been watching a show called '16 and Pregnant' recently (if you ever get a girl knocked up when she's 16 I'll chop your bollocks off, okay?) and we've both been getting a little emotional watching these babies getting born.

When you come out, you're immediately going to become the most important person in my world. I love your mom to death and I'd do anything for her (except for rubbing her feet). I love your aunts and uncles, I love your grandparents. I love myself, kinda. But when you come out, you'll be something special; something unique.

I'm really fucking scared little buddy, I'm really fucking scared that I'll let you down, that I'll not give you everything that you need, that I'll not be the best father that I can be.

I'm going to give this all I have though. When I leave this world I won't be thinking 'have I been the best office worker that I could be?', I won't be thinking 'did I ever make the most of my mad skillz?', I won't be thinking 'I can turn right on red here, right?' (maybe that'll be the penultimate thing I think), I will be thinking 'was I the best father that I could be?'

That's how I'll judge myself, that's how much you mean to me.

Good luck, little guy. Good luck in this world of increasing danger and political stupidity. There are some brilliant minds on this planet that keep amazing me and which keep advancing our species further. There are also some crazy fuckers who keep being elected to office and who keep reinforcing the crazy. I can't even imagine how this world will look in 30 years, but when you are my age I imagine that things will be pretty different. All that I can say is, enjoy the ride, don't take anything too seriously, and always treat everyone how you want to be treated yourself.

This last piece of advice also applies to when you're a newborn. If you piss on me when I'm changing your diaper......

Above all, please remember that I am not the finished article and neither are you. We will learn this shit together, and we will laugh and cry together. We are both going to evolve, learn, love and fart because it's funny.

We're going to have a blast. Let's do this!