Branding Baby

Alise and I have been talking baby names recently.

That is to say, it's a topic that has come up regularly basically since we started dating. It was always a hypothetical conversation, and to a large extent still really feels like one. Until I actually see a bump, I'll continue to refer to this cluster of cells as an alien, and Alise will call it 'pumpkin' or 'peanut' or something equally as cute. One day though, we will have to actually give a name to this thing, a name that this thing will have to live with for quite a while.

It's a terrifying responsibility. My one request has been that the child isn't given a name that is too uncommon. For that reason, I have asked (time will tell if I'll be successful) that the name chosen passes the 'pencil test'. I want our child to be able to walk into a gift store, go to the stand with name embossed pencils, and be able to find their very own pencil.

As part of our conversation on Sunday, I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea.

'Lets call it Foxwoods', I said.

Foxwoods is the name of a casino in Connecticut, which Alise and I may or may not have been to.

'No', she said. Without considering the idea for a second.

'But it's perfect!' I told her. 'We'll get free stuff from the casino! Free nights at their hotel, meals, drinks, everything!'

'We are not naming our child after a casino', she said. I don't think she was joking. She didn't think I was either.

'It does pass the pencil test though', I reasoned. 'Kid will be able to get everything with their name on. Pencils, mouse pads, sweaters…'

'Not happening'.

'Fine', I said. 'how about Six Flags?'