Cranky Cranky Baby Daddy

I've been a little depressed recently.

There's been a lot to think about, a lot to do. There's been a lot to be worried about, a lot to be hopeful for. A lot to be thankful for, a lot to be scared about. In short, there's been a lot of 'stuff' on my mind.

The obvious things that I've been down about are easier to deal with. I know that these aliens cost a lot of money, so we've both been trying to save what we can and buy cheap things when we see them.  I'm aware that we won't have nearly as much free time as we do now and that doing the things that now can be done quickly and without pain will suddenly take an age and will make me want to scream. I know that I will feel less the center of attention in Alise's life, basically because I will not be the center of her attentions. A lie in will be a rare event, I won't be able to have 'me' time at home while Alise is in the bath. I know all of these things are coming.

So, why the depression? Alise is no doubt thinking all of these things and is also dealing with raging hormones, sore boobs and nausea. I should be having it easy right now. I don't even have to do anything special for her, she hasn't sent me out to satisfy her food cravings and she can still happily lift things on her own.

Perhaps that's it. Perhaps that's what's causing my mood. I'm not the most patient of people at the best of times, and now we're playing the longest waiting game that we've ever played. We have a long time to wait for baby, and apart from buying a few small things right now (we don't want to get too much or spend too much money right now, just in case); there's just not much that I can do. I really like to 'help', to ease symptoms and look after people. Right now, there's really nothing that I can do to help Alise or the alien that's slowly growing inside her.

Perhaps, perhaps that is it. I'm really not sure; I can't quite put my finger on it. I am totally in love with Alise and totally do want this child, so please don't think that I'm feeling regrets or having cold feet. Maybe these are feelings that all future baby daddies go through, maybe this is just me. Who knows.